One of my many regrets in college (see also: not studying enough, studying too hard, not partying enough, partying too much) is not skipping more spring classes to go to day games at Wrigley. There's nothing quite like hitting up the 7-11 across the street, getting a Slurpee, dumping a bunch of vodka in, and heading for the bleachers to "watch" a game.
That said, the video above is just your standard jackassery. I'm not particularly interested in watching drunk idiots sing and dance. But I have to say, the guy at the end of the video, just pissing in the front row of the bleachers? Now that's what I'm talkin' about.
[FanHaus]
The college football season kicked off last night, and four ranked teams eked out victories over surprisingly tough underdogs.
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The handsome gentleman pictured here is Amador Yenkenes, a 57-year-old Miami jeweler who faces third-degree felony assault charges for slugging the referee in a soccer game between two teams comprised entirely of players aged 55 and up.
Yenkenes had been agitated all night, disagreed with a call and kicked the ball in anger, [referee Nicholas] Sismanidis said. That drew a red card and an ejection. He punched Sismanidis in the jaw and ran. The referee, a civil engineer who also officiates college soccer games, called Miami-Dade police…
The opposing team, leading 1-0, won the game on a forfeit after the attack.
What!? They ended the game after one little case of felony assault on the referee? Sheesh. This is just one more sign soccer still has a long way to go in America. In Europe and South America, beating the referees is part of the halftime entertainment.
Country Music Television has created a reality makeover show entitled "I Want to Look Like a High School Cheerleader Again" in which 10 former high school cheerleaders will compete against each other during a series of physical and emotional challenges for $50,000 and the opportunity to perform live again.
Dallas Cowboys Cheerleaders trainer Jay Johnson (CMT's "Dallas Cowboys Cheerleaders: Making the Team") will whip 10 former high school cheerleaders into shape with the help of his wife, Lin, and his "army-style" fitness regimen…
"We're giving some lucky women a chance to change their health, their attitude, their lives and relive those cheerleading glory days all over again," CMT head of development Bob Kusbit said.
Some of the challenges the contestants can expect to endure are: fellating a former high school quarterback in the back of a station wagon, making former high school wallflowers feel self-conscious, being just nice enough to former high school nerds to stimulate masturbation fantasies, and encouraging other contestants to develop eating disorders. Should be great!
(Thanks to hunk of raw steel Alex for the tip.)
It's been a pretty dull day, but this is more like it.
Months from now, when I die jaywalking in New York City, I want people to look back on my life and say, "God, he was just so dedicated to finding video of people smashing their faces. You could tell he loved what he did." Suck on that, Arthur Jones. Where's your gorilla now?
[Vidmax]
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