Donald Trump is rounding up famous people for the first installment of "Celebrity Apprentice," and like most "celebrity" reality shows it will feature people whose careers are already in the shitter or moving quickly in that direction. And there's a surprising number of sports figures on the list. Page Six writes:
In the meantime, Trump says he's already signed an eye-popping list of A-listers, B-listers and has-beens to be subjected to his notorious "You're Fired" treatment. They include: Jim Cramer, Carmen Electra, Joan Rivers, Naomi Judd, George Foreman, original "Apprentice" villain Amorosa, Kimora Lee Simmons, Pete Rose, Dana Patrick, Tony Hawk and Jeff Gordon.
Of course, it's not Amorosa but Omarosa. And "Dana" Patrick is probably race car driver Danica Patrick, although I suppose it could be Dan Patrick, who has some free time these days. Whatever, man, it's Page Six. You want them to give you gossip AND spell names correctly? Well, Your Majesty, you can take your extra 75 cents and buy a New York Times if you think copy editing is so fucking special.
My money's on Kimora Lee Simmons. She already knows that the way to get a start in business is to fuck someone with a lot of money. So unless Carmen Electra puts out for Trump or Danica Patrick learns how to give lap dances, the competition is pretty much over.
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Danica Patrick learns how to give lap dances
Nice subtle joke there, Matt
Will Pete Rose gamble on the outcome of Celebrity Apprentice ?
Kimora doesn't have Richard in her corner anymore so I have to take Jim Cramer…unless he starts chuckin' phones.
She already knows that the way to get a start in business is to fuck someone with a lot of money.
When are women going to get out of the kitchen and starting making something out of themselves so I can do this too? It's the 00's people, the time for equality is now.
I hope people are only watching this show to make fun of the douches that will be on it.
Matt, you'll be glad to know that according to Improvised Erectile Device, you totally owned Page 6 on this story since you spelled a couple names correctly that they didn't. Way to go. We should start calling you Scoop.
Joan Rivers is still alive?
WWSM: Yes, but hopefully she'll guest-corpse for Carson soon.
Instead of this show, can we just put Trump's hair piece side by side with Joan Rivers' vagina for 30 minutes and see if anyone can tell the difference?
see if anyone can tell the difference
Trump's hairpiece has all the wrinkles. JR's had some work done on her dank cavern.
We should start calling you Scoop.
I knew you'd see it my way, guys.
Danica Who?
Wasn't Naomi Judd supposed to have ass cancer or something? I distinctly remember her near the brink of death from some chronic disease. Maybe I fell asleep in the middle of the story because I didn't give a fuck. Oh well.
Good luck on this fake show fake celebrities! I hope the studio collapses.
Carmen Electra, and Joan Rivers in the same sentence? Damn, how the mighty have fallen. Implying Carmen Electra, just to make that clear.
@WWSM: If they put Joan Rivers' Vagina on TV, most people will mistake it for an Arby's Roast Beef Commercial and change the channel. Then proceed to jump infront of a bus.
Actually, Texas, this is sort of a fun game:
If they put Joan Rivers' Vagina on TV, most people will ______________________.
I'm going with "throw up as if stricken with ebola." Or "Jack off furiously."
Jeff Gordon makes over 20 million dollars a year and is married to a supermodel. I got a hunch he won't be anywhere near this crap.
If they put Joan Rivers' Vagina on TV, most people will ______________________.
Oh! Oh! How about……. gouge thier own eyes out with a spork.
If they put Joan Rivers' Vagina on TV, most people will ______________________.
Invest heavily in eye-bleach futures.
Have some idea what a decomposing whale looks like.
Regret that HDTV purchase.
This is fun!
I'm personally looking forward to Trump firing Cramer with a…
"You're fired….BOO YAH!"
*presses crying baby button*
Yeah, I watch Mad Money. What are you gonna do about it?
My one wish is that Trump tells Foreman he's fired and the old George steps up and knocks Trump out. One punch, lights out.
If they put Joan Rivers' Vagina on TV, most people will ______________________.
"Never sleep again." or "Not fear Hell."
If they put Joan Rivers' Vagina on TV, most people will ______________________.
Mistaken it for Lindsey Lohans gash, after a night out on the town.
If they put Joan Rivers' Vagina on TV, most people will______________________
wonder why a cobwebbed cunt is on primetime tv and why is she flashing her gash.
What the hell is wrong with this place today? First Lindsay Lohan now Joan Rivers' vagina? For the love of God people get a grip. We better get some good tit links to make up for this debacle soon.
If they put Joan Rivers' Vagina on TV, most people will ______________________.
mistake it for the Discovery Channel's documentery on the Altamira Caves.
Documentary*
Fuck my 1st grade teacher for having me sound out shit to spell it. Stupid Bitch.
If they put Joan Rivers' Vagina on TV, most people will ______________________.
Lose faith in humanity and begin to watch women's professional sports.
My work is done here.
If they put Joan Rivers' Vagina on TV, most people will ______________________.
Wonder why it has tenticles, and is slowly devouring the still-warm corpse of Merv Griffin.
I heard Danica Patrick won the test show, but will finish third in the actual airings.
Some of the names I could see there, but Jeff Gordon and Tony Hawk? Come on now. Jeff Gordon is the points leader at the moment in NASCAR, I don't like the sport and I knew that, suddenly I feel so dirty. And Tony Hawk is one of if not the biggest names in skateboarding, he has his own line of video games and who knows what else, I doubt he'll be there.
Where are these A-lister's you speak of? This would be the cast list if a VH1 show and an ESPN show had sex.
If a VH1 show and ESPN had sex, you can bet your ass that ESPN would be facing sexual harassment charges in no time. Sort of like in real life.
Is Naomi the fat one, the stupid Kentucky fan bitch or the MILF? I can't keep track.
And is stupid in front of Kentucky redundant?
"She already knows that the way to get a start in business is to fuck someone with a lot of money. "
Truer words were never spoken my friend. This no-talent bitch would be doing nude modeling for money if it wasn't for hooking up with Run's brother.
Also if a VH-1 and ESPN show had sex, ESPN would have VD.
If VH-1 and ESPN had sex, their kid would probably be retarded and have to be named CMT.
If VH-1 and ESPN had sex, VH-1 would turn into the LOGO channel.
The Two Coreys think this is a dumb idea.