Yesterday, Yahoo Sports "broke" the "news" that Michael Vick will soon be suspended from playing in the NFL for at least a year by der Kommissar Roger Goodell.
Umm… is it just me, or is the standard for breaking a news story unfathomably fucking low? Pacman Jones got a year suspension for being involved in stuff that he'll never get convicted for. Chris Henry got 8 games for some DUIs or something. Michael Vick got a federal indictment for running a dogfighting ring. I'm not a lawyer, but I once had sex with a chick in law school, and she said that animal cruelty for sport and gambling is worse than getting pulled over for DUI. And she had a big rack, so I believe her.
Anyway, Yahoo Sports and the rest of the sports media better watch out, because I have news that will fucking BLOW YOUR MIND: the Super Bowl will be played in February, and millions of people are going to watch it. Seriously: millions. You heard it here first.
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Yes, the standard is very low; it just hit an all time low just now actually.
Someone shoulda told Corey Chavous that 54 doesn't have the ball. And is on his team.
actually, animal cruelty for sport and gambling is now officially worse than a dui manslaughter.
[sportsillustrated.cnn.com]
Shit, you'd think that under Goodell's watch, having herpes would be good for a 4 game suspension by itself. Which would also explain why no women I date will ever play professional football.
It's also illegal to put squirrels down your pants for the purpose of gambling.
No problems with Smoot's double sided dildo?
animal cruelty for sport and gambling is worse than getting pulled over for DUI.
Not too bad considering Soccer players get the death penalty if they screw up a game winning goal in Argentina, and Brazil. They have their priorities in the right place!
I'm sure glad I drafted Ookie with the first overall pick in my shut-in fantasy league. Thanks, Yahoo, for keeping that breaking story close to your vest.
I bet $100 the dog outruns those brawny negroes. Any takers?
Could we stop running the picture of Vick kicking the shit out of Minnesota? It's hard enough being a Vikings fan these days without having our noses rubbed in every embarrassing loss!
The story was believeable until, "I once had sex."
You make a compelling case, Matt, but I need to hear more about this law student's rack before I can make a final verdict.
Don't fight those hounds (ooh wah-oh);
(Sha sha) Der Kommissar's in town.
Royal Jackass !
On the plus side, I just got emailed this link for the Michael Vick chew toy:
[www.vickdogchewtoy.com]
On the negative side…… Even the Mike Vick chew toys will kill your dog:
[www.unconfirmedsources.com]
Eheeh!