Former SportsCenter anchor-turned-media pundit Keith Olbermann is the target of this "missed connection" Craigslist ad, the only w4m ad in Chicago not intended for dark and mysterious With Leather reader Brian. Here it is, unedited and in its entirety:
oh baby, you are in my city this fine day, doing the thing you do best. and i wanna be with you. that's right, i do. i want to put my fingers through your salt and pepper hair and pick your nimble brain all. night. long. i'd take off those glasses and show you what it is like to be a man, yes i would. and i'd use that sharp tongue in the best possible way: to get a smart, witty analysis on lobbyist contributions, unity governments and the bush administration. let's curl up on the couch and watch bill o'reilly together and laugh and laugh. let's hang out with dan patrick. let's make our OWN special commentary. if you know what i mean. i wanna see your alex gordon rookie card. whip it out for me. please baby, i will treat you right.
I'm not an expert — only the world's third most experienced lover — but I think Alex Gordon's rookie card is some kind metaphor for something. Hey, wait a sec. She's going to show him what it's like to be a man??? Keith, just between you and me, don't respond to that ad. This gal may have an Alex Gordon rookie card of her own. Whatever that means. I'm still trying to figure that one out.
![[avatar]](http://p.uproxxcdn.com/photo/226/thumb)
![[image]](http://cdn.wl.uproxx.com/wp-content/thumbnails/130/110/2013/03/Bill-Walton-180x180.jpg)
![[image]](http://cdn.wl.uproxx.com/wp-content/thumbnails/130/110/2012/10/Buck-Sign-180x180.jpg)
![[image]](http://cdn.wl.uproxx.com/wp-content/thumbnails/130/110/2012/07/dont_lay_an_egg_dash-180x180.jpg)
![[image]](http://cdn.wl.uproxx.com/wp-content/thumbnails/130/110/2012/04/crazy-soccer-announcer-180x180.png)
I'm surprised she didn't ask him to show her his "O Face."
Unfortunately with the onset of age and E.D., Keith does not refer to anything as The Big Show anymore.
Come on… that ad could be for anybody.
What about his Billy Ripken card?
Or it could be for Keith Olbermann, since it clearly says "Keith Olbermann" in the ad headline. My bad.
He must have put the biscuit in the basket.
Something tells me his executive producer is hittin' the booze again.
Never try to understand a press message.
Half the time we use codes.
Especially with Mr. Olbermann.
This image is now burned into my brain. Someone please poke at me with a sharp stick to make it go away, or make me see what it is to be a man.
To have an Alex Gordon rookie card in "sex-speak" is to have great potential in a low-expectation market. Think "hot chick on the Notre Dame campus."
That visual image has shrink wrapped my Alex Gordon rookie card.
Fifty bucks the Olbermann kid picks his nose.
Fifty more says he eats it.
Is it possible to have snooty, condescending, pseudo-intellectual sex? Because something tells me that's the only kind going down at the Olberman residence…
To have an Alex Gordon rookie card in "sex-speak" is to have great potential in a low-expectation market.
So if you claim to have a Barry Bonds rookie card does that mean you have a huge cock?
This chick needs to realize that KO would likely come up limpier and more hamstrung than Soriano did the other night.
I like Keith Olbermann. A lot!
And why is he putting salt and pepper in his hair? Is that some kind of organic shampoo? i wash mine with a mixture of castor oil and vinegar. It's an old family recipe.
Can someone please check if the Yankees are playing the White Sox this weekend? This may be a certain third baseman's new "discreet" method.
That message was from Kenny Mayne.
He wants KO and Dan Patrick to pull the ole' "Chinese Finger Trap" on him.
@ Burnsy: KO isn't nearly masculine enough for ARod's taste in strippers.
It's a slow news day today, huh?
@Weed Against Speed:
Having a Barry Bonds card means you have tiny balls.
If you have a Barry Bonds rookie, your jizz will shoot at least 500 feet and it will land in either McCovey Cove…. or in an asterisk shape on a hookers face.
Go Giants!