Carlos Araque, a massage therapist who formerly worked for the New York Mets, is accused of having swingers' parties and filming X-rated videos at his East Side spa.  The masseur denies those claims, though he has been in trouble with the law before:

Araque had been arrested for violating a woman during a massage at the East 25th Street spa, allegedly penetrating her manually and performing oral sex on her after she fell asleep on the table . . . Araque, whose "make-nice massage" won honors from New York magazine in 2004 . . .

What gives?  I've penetrated women, more than manually most times, only to watch them fall asleep on me, and I've never received any awards.  It's all who you know, I guess.  

Araque, 44, who'd worked sporadically for the Mets for two years and treated the likes of Jose Reyes and Mike Piazza, was also charged with a felony – for giving massages without a license.

Whoa, you need a license now just to heal someone in pain?  I guess that's why those cops arrested me at that gentlemen's club.  Although, the desk sergeant thought my "Physician, heal thyself!" argument was pretty good. -KD

[The Feed]