Bears linebacker Lance Briggs's $350,000 black Lamborghini roadster was found wrapped around a light pole at 3:15 this morning on the Edens Expressway, and the facts are as follows:
- The driver of the vehicle was unharmed and left the scene of the accident.
- It is unknown whether the driver was Briggs.
- The car was not reported stolen.
- Police are meeting with Briggs today to learn more.
- For $350,000, I would have expected better gas mileage.
Pretty obvious what happened here: someone crashed the car. That means the only other question is… which one is Edens Expressway again? Is that 90? 290? 94? Which one is the Dan Ryan? Goddamn Chicago. Only damn city in America where numbers aren't good enough.
[Deadspin]
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They have maps online now:
[maps.google.com]
Q: What are the three streets in Chicago that rhyme with vagina?
A: Paulina, Regina, and Lunt
+1 289… nice job on the pic
The ghost of Jerome Brown was driving.
Goddamn Chicago. Only damn city in America where numbers aren't good enough.
Also the only city in America that a guy like Tucker Max would be considered funny and cool.
Sounds like someone got Punk'd.
The Edens is 94.
290 is the Tank Johnson EXPY.
It's pretty clear to me that Michael Vick did this. It's a damn shame, too.
Oh, and Derrick Thomas, Mike Darr and Drazen Petrovic like the way Lance moves.
@HCM, you forgot Flyers goalie Pelle Lindberg.
I wrapped something around a pole and it saved me $350,000.
Ashton Kutcher was hilarious playing the heterosexual male equivalent of a beard to Demi Moore in that movie…
No shit…huh.
Edens -I94, named after the hottest 73 year old chick – Barbara.
That photo may be as close as we ever get to someone wearing a Dan Dickau jersey.
How dare you forget Tim Horton! He's not just a donut.
Hulk Hogan's son thinks Briggs' shit is weak.
I would've gone with "FIB" and "FISHTAB", but you eastcoasters wouldn't understand that.
Hey, remember when these captions were funny? Me neither.
Fixed
Hey, remember when "fixed" comments were funny? Me neither.
Fuck you.
When asked about the incident Lovie Smith had this to say…
"Rex is still our quarterback"
I'm glad Lance was holding out for more money this preseason. It's an embarassment to the Bears and the NFL itself when a team's 2nd best linebacker has to muck about in a measly $350,000 Lamborghini.
Also the only city in America that a guy like Tucker Max would be considered funny and cool.
I've lived in Chicago for 30 years and I have no idea who the fuck Tucker Max is. I'll have to wikipedia that.
It's an embarassment to the Bears and the NFL itself when a team's 2nd best linebacker has to muck about in a measly $350,000 Lamborghini.
I agree, if Briggs got that longterm contract maybe he wouldn't have to slum it and could have stepped up to the $600k special edition Lambo like the big dawgs. WOOF WOOF
I think the Eden goes up to Wis-fucking-consin. I have therefore never been on it.