BILL SIMMONS IN NBA LIVE ’08?
08.31.07
SLAM Online has a terrific, in-depth article on the production of EA Sports' NBA Live '08 (including interviews with Shawn Marion, Gilbert Arenas, Paul Pierce, and others), and tucked away in the middle of it all is this little nugget on ESPN.com's Sports Guy:
After lunch, everyone moved over to EA's motion capture facility (where they've got an autographed Chris Kaman sneaker on display) and the players—and Bill Simmons, who apparently will be in the game—all squeezed their way into their spandex suits and got ready to have their movements put into the game.
I'm the first person to say how boring it is to use a sports blog to write about writers instead of sports, but I still don't see what he's gonna bring to the game. NBA Live '08! Now with HORSE function! With new extra-nasal commentary! Hidden "Karate Kid" cookies!
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I can't stop laughing
No. Yes.
What?
Nicely done, 289.
Hey, EA. I'll give you $25 bucks for that Chris Kaman sneaker… if you wipe off the autograph and find the other shoe.
Beautiferic
Given his references, wouldn't Simmons be a better fit for NBA Live '85?
Simmons is gonna have his own team on the game. The other 4 in the starting five will be J-Bug, Hench, his friend Jimmy and the Blueboy.
Exactly what kind of motion are they going to be catpturing from him?
Next up: Peter King in spandex for Madden 2009!
Whatever his role, I'm sure Bill gave himself 100 ratings in every category.
If you look closely, you will be able to see Simmons' dad in the crowd hiding his face in shame.
Maybe there's a code that if you get Ron Artest mad enough, he jumps into press row and decapitates Simmons with a scythe.
2K8 me, please.
I hope this trend continues because I'd like to see Perez Hilton in the next Bond movie. The movie industry needs more gay latinos in movies, Mario Lopez can only do so much.
(See what i did there? I made a Saved By The Bell reference just like Simmons does ALL the time!)
Before he shoots a 3 he stops the game and goes into a long rambling story about his buddies J Bug and House and this time in Vegas when an old lady split face cards at the blackjack table. Then some comment fellating the Red Sox or Brady. then finally a shot, which promptly bricks off the iron.
Simmons will be the GM of a team composed entirely of the rosters from Hoosiers, the White Shadow, and Fast Break. He will also be the VP of common sense for all trades.
Seriously, the guy is mad with power and delusions of grandeur. Someone needs to put a stop to this immediately before he's asked to host the ESPYs or something.
@WWSM: Please don't say that (the ESPYs thing), not even in jest. Do not tempt the Gods at tWWL.
You actually watch the ESPYs?
He'll clearly be the starting point guard for the Celtics. Sad thing is the same thing might happen in reality.
@289: I might have to for work. But his nasally shrill will carry beyond the borders of walls or cameras.
The only time I want to see Bill Simmons in a video game is Grand Theft Auto- I would go Flock Of Seagulls all over his ass.
Simmons' role in the game will be to tell you what a poor job you're doing with your team and how he would have done it better.
Maybe he gets beaten up by video game Isiah?
If you make the Celtics go 0-82, it unlocks a movie of The Sports Guy reenacting Brooks' hanging from Shawshank Redemption
+1 a lot of people. Especially Grimey, though.
Simmons is Skins Guy
[www.youtube.com]
He'd be better than listening to SAS screaming through your surround sound
I like Simmons. I don't care about the repercussions. Someone had to remind how great Teen Wolf is.