
Earlier this summer, I wrote about Kyle Perry, the BYU track star who attacked a man in the street with a mop. In the most disappointing correction I've ever written, Perry didn't actually attack a man with a mop at all.
Perry claimed in court this week that he was the one who was assaulted after he braked to avoid pedestrian Thomas Wellington, who was weaving a bucket of window-washing tools through Center Street traffic. It's Perry's contention that Wellington pushed his bucket in anger into Perry's stopped car and, once Perry got out to see what was going on, came after him with a telescopic pole, striking him over the head, causing Perry to push Wellington away in self-defense. At that point Perry's fiancee, who was with him, called police and handed the phone to Perry, who guided them to the scene.
This story was sent to me by Julianne Hoeger, Perry's fiancée, and I have to say: I was positively shocked to learn that a college student at BYU is engaged. Usually they're married with two kids by the time they graduate. Anyway, thanks a lot Julianne. Way to ruin an awesome story with the truth. What's next? Mormons don't practice polygamy any more?


Wait, nothing about Michael Vick?
As if Monday's aren't hard enough to get through you have to go and dump this on us ? Thanks a lot Matt, hope you enjoyed your vacation.
A BYU "track star" that can't out run a hobo might need pepper spray or a rape whistle.
I bet the dude soiled his magical Mormon underwear too.
Fuck this guy…what a fraud.
Wait, how did a BYU student ever see this story to begin with? They aren't allowed on With Leather.
Any pics of Julianne?
Seriously.
At least somebody got hit with a mop.
If Julianne's story is discovered to be inaccurate, she should be sent through the wringer.
These floors are dirty as hell, and I'm not going to take it anymore!
I'm confused? So the cops knew internal affairs were setting them up the entire time?
What, oh, when I'm bored I tend to make up my own movies.
First you tell us the Easter Bunny isn't real and now this?! Next, I guess you're going to tell us that Mike Piazza really doesn't like to be Manually Penetrated.
UHF was probably the definitive movie of my childhood…which doesn't speak highly for my childhood, but does make me smile at any mention of "mop" and "Stanley Spadowski"…