Dunt dudda dunt dunt da, da da dut dah! Dunt dudda dunt dunt da, Dadda da dadda da da! If you could read my booze-addled mind, you'd know that was the sound of the American Gladiators theme song. That's right, American Gladiators is coming back!
Not to be confused with the Russell Crowe epic or the porn classic Glad-he-ate-her, American Gladiators was a 90s TV show that pitted two teams of male and female competitors against "Gladiators" with names like "Ice" and "Turbo", in hilarious, Most Extreme Elimination Challenge-style obstacle courses. It's a little known fact that your mother was also briefly a Gladiator who competed under the name "Queef."
[The show's prodcer] said he was particularly interested in the original U.K. version of "Gladiators," which focused even more on the characters and the behind-the-scenes stories of common folk going up against the show's powerful stars. The new "Gladiators," he said, "will have the scale, scope, different characters and family drama that the U.K. version had."
Oh great, they're turning it into a reality show. Hey asshole, less "Boo hoo, my baby has leukemia", more "Guy getting shot in the nuts with a tennis ball cannon.
Editor's note: This post was written by Lance Martini of FilmDrunk. Be sure to go over there so you can make fun of the people who actually know who directed Can't Hardly Wait.


Speaking of 'Can't Hardly Wait', when are we going to see Jennifer Love Hewitt's tits? After Scarlett Johannsen and Christina Aguilera, hers are the tits I want to see unleashed the most.
Lisa: Our top secret tonight: gay divorcee Luann van Houten has been cheating on her boyfriend Pyro … with his best friend Gyro.Pyro: How many times have I fought beside you, Gyro? And this is how you repay me?
I don't think a day should go by without at least one Simpson's reference.
@hhy: I could not agree more.
First off… Awesome.
Second, someone directed Can't Hardly Wait? I thought that was just a vehicle to get Jennifer Love Hewitt's breast-es-s on the "big" screen. Man she's banging hot.
And C, if I had known that I would have spent more time training in 1-Ton Hamster Wheels and sliding down slides covered in chocolate. Oh wait, wrong game.
Let's hope the female Gladiators will be a little less manish looking than the ones from the original.
Can't Hardly Wait was part of my JLH marathon me and my friend put on one summer- it included Trojan War and IKWYDLS….I have issues.
@UpstateUnderdog
Highly unlikely. I'm sure we'll be seeing Chyna types and be detecting the whiff of aftershave.
@UU: Fantasy starting 5 (and thee are not going to be any surprises here):
1. Megan Fox
2. Rose McGowan
3. Rosario Dawson
4. Eva Mendez
5. Famke Janssen
Wow, That one Gladiator had some huge tits. What was their name again? Nitro, huh.
Please don't bring back Theisman!
@Punch Rockgroin: it's probably gotten worse with the better roids and HGH available. I predict at least one unsightly mustache.
Dunt dudda dunt dunt da, da da dut dah! Dunt dudda dunt dunt da, Dadda da dadda da da – Is it the Pink Panther theme {insert name of American Host of Name That Tune because it's unlikely anyone else here has ever heard of Lionel Blair} Close, but no. The answer is No One Knows by Queens of the Stone Age.
I be tossin, enforcin, my style is awesome
I'm causin more Family Feud's than Richard Dawson
And the survey said — ya dead
Fatal Flying Guillotine chops off your fuckin head
I would do anything just to sit in on a Richard Dawson coke binge and observe.
@PeterMcSheisty
Nice Wu-Tang reference.
@Punch, you are probably right, but i hope you are wrong.
@GBias, thanks but I have no idea what your list refers to. I like your selections. I'm also partial to brunettes.
@George Brett: Megan Fox, while hot, is too trendy. She's yet to prove herself over time.
HHY 5:
1. Scarlett Johannsen
2. Jessica Biel
3. Jessica Alba
4. Christina Aguilera
5. Poppy Montgomery
And I've got Kim Kardashian coming off the bench. Yes, she's a skanky attention whore who only does black dudes. I don't care. That giant ass and big fake tits are awesome.
@TEXAS, agreed on Theisman but bring back Csonka !
@HHY: Why have I never heard of Poppy Montgomery? Grade A all the way.
And I hate to admit it, but you're right about Megan Fox. However, my schwantz does not care.
Poppy's very under the radar. Doesn't get much pub. She did a layout for 'Stuff' magazine a while back (no, I don't buy 'Stuff'), and it was scrumtulescent.
One of my buddies just linked me to the video below. I think she deserves a try out.
[www.yikers.com]
[img204.imageshack.us]
That is the great thing about this site the comments can go from one topic to top 5 fantasy
pieces of ass in no time.
Mine
1.Monica Bellucci
2.Jessica Alba
3.Jessica Biel
4.Sienna Miller
5.Penelope Cruz
I just wish the clip showed the end part where Dawson wraps his arm around Ice and says, "Wow, Ice, you are HARD!" And she says, "So are you, Richard." Great Moments in Television.
Two words: FUCK and YES
And one edit:
American Gladiators was a 90s TV show that pitted two teams of male and “female” competitors against “Gladiators”
You know what's scary? This:
[www.gladiatorszone.com]
I'll have to go with Elektra in the list, simply because she's shadowed and may potentially be something bangable.
That Sky looks a big unit. Was he on hormone replacement therapy at the time? He looks kind of feminine.
Top 5 Vaginas On My Roster…
1. Hayden Panettiere
2. ScarJo
3. Carrie Underwood
4. Jessica Alba
5. Jessica Biel
Nitro looks like a fucking asshole. I hope he ends up on some shitty reality show someday that involves possibly being hurt by large animals. One can always dream, I guess…
Just in case any of them happen to be reading, haha. in order of their place in my heart and space taken up on my hard drive.
I've only ever seen one photo in a magazine from 1988 of No.4 but, for me, she is the benchmark by which all blondes are judged. So far the internet has turned up dick on her.
I do believe Nitro got the AIDS.
So why the fuck are he and Magic still 'round?
@ Van Cleef… Laetitia Casta…. you're god damn right
I think it's finally the right time to unthaw Mike Adamle for some high energy American Gladiators play-by-play!!!
I loved American Gladiators. The tennis ball cannon is one of the greatest inventions of all time, at least on my list. The other two things are strip clubs and alcohol.
Top 5:
1) Jessica Biel
2) Kate Beckinsale
3) Alyssa Milano
4) Monica Belluci
5) Kelly Brook