So long, Dan Patrick. It's about time you cleared the way for more Stu Scott. Boo-yah!
Your guesses for Dan's next job in the comments. I say he's going to run for president… of my heart.
So long, Dan Patrick. It's about time you cleared the way for more Stu Scott. Boo-yah!
Your guesses for Dan's next job in the comments. I say he's going to run for president… of my heart.
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Softball team pimp
Deadspin weekend editor.
Keith Olberman's fluffer
The View?
Kilborn's drinkin' buddy. Since neither will be working much.
Or full-time "pussy wrangler" for ESPN on-air talent. one or the other.
Hair Club for Men spokesmodel.
Future repository for the soul of Dick Clark.
The Next Food Network Star
The new Price is Right game show host by day… vigilante crime fighter by night.
Dan Patrick LLC Business Plan
1. Build solid reputation and extensive network through successful 25 year career at CNN and ESPN. Make huge salary, get primo assignments, then leave network while on top.
2.
3. Profit!!!
Hombre-Fuego
Per Dan Patrick's Wikipedia page:
Reigning champion of the Butler County (Ohio) 4-H Fair Pig Wrestling contest.
Berman?
I'll give you a real one . . . WFAN morning show host. That, or "future repository for the soul of Dick Clark" sound about right.
Beware, the ghosts of Chris Meyers and Keith Olberman.
What Would Tyler Durden Do? headline writer
Olbermann's ballwasher.
Mexico City's Next Fire Chief. There he can say "en fuego" as much as he wants without ridicule.
Chicken-sexer.
Valtrex spokesman in Mexico:
El warts por mi pantelon is en fuego!
sexual harassment defense attorney (with a built-in client base!)
Insurance Salesman. Progressive, maybe?
5 Time RPS Champion.
the new host of LatiNation.
Swim Instructor?
Tom Mees family does not approve.
Assistant Dog Breeder – Vick Farms, Inc.
Two words: Gay Porn.
Cobra Kai Sensei
Co- Host of "Dan and Danika's Good Housekeeping Hour and Racing Forum" on Martha Stewart Radio
Snake charmer.
Rosie's replacement on "The View."
He's not really jumping ship…he's moving on to primetime on "The Ocho"
Imus' replacement.
With Leather has got to be the only place on the internets where you can find references to underpants gnomes. Got to be.
I'll give you a real one . . . WFAN morning show host. That, or "future repository for the soul of Dick Clark" sound about right.
Beware, the ghosts of Chris Meyers and Keith Olberman.
Reggie Miller's publicist.
With Leather has got to be the only place on the internets where you can find references to underpants gnomes. Got to be.
Ummm… UES007, have you checked out the internets?
In 10 years, he'll be that obnoxious hammered guy that smells like week-old piss sitting at the end of the bar saying "I used to be on Sportscenter!! I used to be somebody!!"
Nice career choice, Dan-o.
What the fuck is the internets?
I should have clarified – sports blogs? I don't know what to call it. Ufford yelled at me last time I called it bloggings, so I've refrained from naming it since.
I guess I'm just happy that so many eloquent, handsome, intelligent sport fans enjoy Trey and Matt's work.
Allen Iverson's new bodyguard.
Or… the 11th Doctor!
Manager of a Boston Market?
But seriously, Patrick was one of the good anchors on Espn. Behind Linda Cohn, but in front of lazy-eye.
Boo-yah? Boo-No you bastard!
Maybe he'll work at a Haberdashery.
hed might be happy doin that. What're the hours?
New Jersey Nets dance team captain
Rich Eisen is sweating bullets.
Austin, like the Tom Baker avatar. The man's a national treasure.
Got Yamabushi's Spinal Tap reference but had to google Underpants gnomes. i've not seen every South Park episode and i had no idea who made the reference. Now i do. Time well spent.
new mascot for Shoney's/Bob's Big Boy
289's Hair Stylist.
Well to you, Angel Eyes Van Cleef (for now), I say, simply, yum tum tummy tum tay.
Now that i've found it, i think i'll watch it. That way i won't feel left out ever again.
[www.southparkzone.com]
Dan said on his show today that some old man thought Linda Cohn was his wife
ps
Linda Cohn is a no talent P.O.S
Katie Curics replacement
I've been watching loads of Doctor Who lately.
Jesus, I'm the soccer AND Doctor Who nerd now…
Dan started a concierce service to NFL players-
Kornheiser's replacement? Please?
howard stern's foot stool.
Hopefully he'll star in a snuff film.
Who is Peyton Manning? Peyton Manning is NOW, that's what.
Yeah, I just remembered that MNF is on ESPN now. I'll be in the Asshole Box if anyone needs me.
Strip Club Announcer:
Let's hear it for Des-tin-y, all right!
Mike Rowe and Dan Patrick's Dirty Jobs
episode 1: espn sports broadcaster behind the scenes
Head of the Council for Journalistic Integrity……..
….and Adam Sandler's caddy.
Comcast Local highschool sports broadcasting
position title: translator for staten island highschool athletes or any other spanish speaking athletes in the state
sketch opening dude in remake tv series of the twilight zone
My money's on Fox, particularly the NFL studio team. What the hell else is he going to do? Go on MSNBC and get some crappy news show? Oh wait, that's already been done by his butt buddy.