Few posts give me greater pleasure to write than the ones about the heroic struggles of aspiring young dancers who just want to shake their asses for crowds of horny men at sporting events.  This is one of those posts, as the Nets recently culled five new dancers from a crowd of over 200 applicants.  Now, you could go to the Nets official site and find the pop-up photo galleries of the auditions, or you can follow along with the experience of Arianne Cohen, a writer who was tried out in order to write about the experience:

I pulled at my quads next to Christina Iannelli, who at 19 has already been a Philadelphia 76ers dancer, her abdomen smeared in body glitter and in a pink-sequined bra top… I asked whether the thick black hair spilling down her back would get in her way. “I think it’s an asset!” she said. “I like getting all sexy with it.” … I was feeling elderly, while Iannelli leaped and spun across the gym, hair flowing, teeth shining, messily hitting each step.

Hmmm… No, this doesn't quite work for me.  Arianne's close, but she obviously needs some serious lessons in gay journo-porn.  She's got a long way to go to get to Men's Health.

(Thanks for the tip goes to Becky, who is adored by creepy Internet stalkers everywhere.)