I said I wasn't going to go out to Coney Island to watch the hot dog eating contest, but there I was, standing just off of Surf Avenue at 10:00 a.m. yesterday, over two hours early for one of the most exciting sporting events — if we can call it that — I've ever seen. As you now certainly know, Joey Chestnut and Takeru Kobayashi squared off in the greatest hot dog eating contest ever, with both men breaking the established record, but with Chestnut winning with 66 hot dogs and buns in 12 minutes. In person, it was absolutely thrilling to watch. Two men haven't pushed each other to such feats since 1998, when Mark McGwire and Sammy Sosa raced each other to inject more steroids than baseball fans had ever seen.
What everyone needs to know is that the ESPN telecast above is absolute shit compared to the live experience. George Shea, the head of IFOCE (International Federation of Competitive Eating), emcees the event — he's the guy in the straw hat behind the eaters — and he combines a passion for competitive eating with an old-time huckster's approach to comedy and storytelling (see him at work here). The ESPN announcers don't tell you that "we've arrived at this moment by the unswerving punctuality of chance," and they sure as hell don't tell you that the eaters are "competing in an arena of emotion."
Anyway, I'm not sold on competitive eating as a "sport" in the traditional sense, but as a spectator event, nothing beats the excitement of the Nathan's hot dog eating contest. Unless you've got ten grand riding on a dog fight. Hoo, now that's LIVING.
![[avatar]](http://p.uproxxcdn.com/photo/226/thumb)
![[image]](http://cdn.wl.uproxx.com/wp-content/thumbnails/130/110/2013/02/kobayashi-dominos-pizza-180x180.png)
![[image]](http://cdn.wl.uproxx.com/wp-content/thumbnails/130/110/2012/11/funfunfunfest_brandon_stroud-180x180.jpg)
![[image]](http://cdn.wl.uproxx.com/wp-content/thumbnails/130/110/2012/10/560749_484564654901271_1398964611_n-180x180.jpg)
![[image]](http://cdn.wl.uproxx.com/wp-content/thumbnails/130/110/2012/09/joey_chestnut_twitter-180x180.png)
sounds like a story you'll be able to tell the grandkids about. the 10K riding on a dog fight story, not the hot dog eating thing.
Next up on ESPN, competitive tiddlywinks. Little Jenny "Small Fry" McFrye from 3 streets over is set to continue her domination of the Triple Pines Neighborhood, but Ricky "Wet Pants" Smith looks to end her reign.
Brady Quinn is jealous of all the guys putting footlong wieners in their mouth 2 at a time.
Hot Dog eating — not a sport. Yet it's more of a sport than NASCAR.
At the very least, competitive eating has given me a new euphemism for throwing up — "a reversal." Sounds almost boring.
I hated every single second ofESPN's coverage yet I could not turn it off. I think its time for that lobotomy I have been saving up for.
The real issue here is clear: when is it appropriate to wear a straw hat? It has a certain undeniable panache, but I don't think it's appropriate for everyday, either.
U-S-A! U-S-A!
Suck our balls Japan. The title is now back on American soil. Now the most overweight country in the world has a crown worth wearing to show off our…..fatness.
…aww goddamn it.
Chestnut if you can't get pussy after that, i don't know what to tell you
Carson Palmer would have won, but he's on a different circuit….Like CART and the INDY league….until Nathan's and John Morrell combine, there will be no true champion.
[www.withleather.com]
WWSM -When AREN'T straw hats appropriate to wear? I wear one every day. Of course, I'm a carny.
Sosa and McGwire combined never ingested as many steroids as these two cock gobblers did by consuming 100+ Nathan's hot dogs.
Chestnut if you can't get huge cocks after that, i don't know what to tell you
There ya go sheedshair, I fixed that for ya.
The ESPN announcers were WAY over the top yesterday to the point of riduculousness. “If Joey Chestnut wins, this will be the singular most important moment in American sports history!!!!”
Ummm…WHAT???
So I guess USA defeating the Soviets and that little thing called the Super Bowl and the Dream Team and the 26 Yankees titles can’t hold a candle to binging and purging. Tell the WWL to eat a couple of footlongs and shut their pie holes.
"The greatest moment in the history of American sports." Yes, clearly.
This is our country.
I'm sure it was great live, but Kobayashi puking was great close up.
George Shea and his "competing in an arena of emotion" rivals Leonard Washington and his "Where I'm from? A little town called none yo got damn bidness" for greatest quote in a fake sport of all time.
That was a fucking disgusting display.
"a singular instance of valor" … of course. It's basically like being the first Platoon Commader into Iraq, or even the first Platoon Commander into Baghdad. Valor, mmm, it sure does taste good.
I think the Nathan's Girls may have been practicing for the contest too.
Even this is more of a sport than poker.
Matt if you really enjoyed George Shea I definetely recommend you pick up "Horsemen of the Esophogas". It's a hilarious book that tells the story of living the life of the competitive eating circuit. There's some FANTASTIC one liners in there by George Shea.
On Sonya Thomas's winning total on some meat product that I don't remember:
"I HAVEN'T BEEN THIS PROUD SINCE THE BIRTH OF MY FIRST CHILD, A SON!"
Most underrated man in sports.