07.31.07 TENNIS IS EASY

It's always distressing to know a five year old could kick my ass at something.  Even if it's something I couldn't give less of a shit about.  You know… it's the principle of the thing.

All he has is a forehand shot. Ill dust this kid on grass or clay. Then Ill tell him there's no Santa Claus. Thats how I get down.

Molested by coach in 5…4…3…

I know this kid, I live in his town and I play tennis at the club his mom coaches at.

 This did not work out, the family hated France, and they moved back almost immediately. They are training him in the United States now, in Gold River, CA. He still plays tennis every day, yesterday he was on the court next to me getting coached by his mom who plays on the local professional team.

is the the future of American tennis ? maybe.  is he the future Todd Marinovich of American tennis ? I'm thinking yes.

unless he starts smoking pot and playing weekend games of Eschaton I think he's well on his way

 /hipster lit reference

Is he the future of American tennis? He's already more impressive than James Blake, so that's… okay, not much. But can his parents please get him some shorts that fit? A white kid rocking the baggies may look cute at age 5, but when he hits his teens, he's gonna look like a douche.

I bet he is working the “cream” already…Check the size of his head in a year or two…

This kid has already peaked. Pro tennis players don't get this much attention. Maybe he should go and hang out with little Hercules and see if he can't hit the Hollywood hotspots before his fifteen mintues expires. Whoops, too late.

"No 5 year old has ever hit a one handed backhand"  This is factually incorrect.  I was hitting my 5 year old with a one handed backhand long before he could talk back.  You've got to nip that shit in the bud while they're young.

Can someone ask Tex Hayward how this kid's feeling right now?

The only player Johnny Mac can still kick the shit out of…. and he does, regularly….

Someone please tell Verne Troyer to stop putzing around with that tennis racket and get back to being Dr. Evil's wee wittle twin.

Tennis has a future as a sport?

I was gonna attempt funny, but Vanilla brought his A game. So I yield the floor.

Surprise, the Future of American Tennis has a douchey Euro-sounding name… this will only contribute to the eventuality that America will collectively not give a shit about this kid.

Are you sure he's 5 years old? He looks a lot like that Polish weightlifter to me. What can he bench press?

The Betty Ford clinic already has a reservation for this kid for the year 2020, and the surreal life is trying to lock him in for the 2022 season.

If the future of American tennis involved a guy then I don't want to be involved in the future of tennis.

I was a promising child once, too. Then I discovered tequila and hookers. 

I'm probably the hundredth person to send this to you, but brace yourself Ufford!

http://wwtdd.com/post.phtml?pk=2634