What the F, man. Roger Federer's gotta be some kind of idiot tennis savant. He probably doesn't even know he's competing. His coach is just a social worker with a master's in special education who tells him he can get a really shiny trophy if he hits all the balls that come his way. Sure, he can win five straight Wimbledons, but ask him to put pants on straight and you end up with a clogged toilet, a kitchen fire, and an overturned farm truck with chickens in the front yard.
(Hat tip: SPORTSbyBROOKS, Photo: Getty Images)
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Here comes the obvious joke,
Brady Quinn says that these pants have made his life SO much easier.
Are we sure this isn't some sort of fucked up Euro style? Not that it matters, Federer could wear a soiled diaper to pick up that trophy and he still couldn't swing his dick without hitting a model begging to get on it
The real question here is….
Did he button or zip the pants himself? Because the bigger idiot (or comedian, depending on your take) may be the guy who doesn't tell him that his pants are unzipped.
"Mr. Federer….you have major swamp ass. Would you like me to close your fly?"
Kriss-Kross is his favorite rap duo.
/too fucking easy
I got beaten to the Kris Kross joke because I had to register.
Bastard.
Does this mean Federer tucks?
The problem was that he ate 5 bowls of 4-alarm chili before the match…now he pees out of his ass.
Cuz inside out is wiggity-wiggity-wiggity WACK!
Ahh, that will suffice.
Jesus. No offense, sexy readers, but Kris Kross and Brady Quinn jokes are exactly why I have a job doing this and you don't.
You all laugh, but the best kept secret in Tennis is that Roger Federer suffers from the very rare and inconvenient "my cock is in back and my ass is in front" syndrome. Taking a shit is very, very difficult.
And Josh's Brother thinks we're all assholes for making fun of Federer.
Maybe that's what tailors mean by "letting it out at the back". Or it could be a fashion statement inspired by the Swiss love of cuckoo clocks… worn backwards?
Dammit! I knew I should have instead went with the making fun of retards joke!
Apologies, Mr. Ufford.
seriously… brady quinn jokes are wiggida wiggida wack
There clearly needs to be a working list of athletes we can actively rotate as the punchline to all humor pointed at gay men. If Brady Quinn is out (so to speak), who's in?
I nominate Vince Carter. No special reason. I just think he's a pansy. Other ideas?
A-Rod
The Master is not amused.
Dance, monkeys. DANCE!
@ WWSM
He must look awfully strange naked
and that could be a pretty long list in today's sports world, one i question is eli, because i think being a 12 year old girl is different then simply gay
The ENTIRE 40-MAN ROSTER OF THE CHICAGO CUBS!
[hirejimessian.com]
This should be an encouraging development for those players in Federer's shadow, for it appears that he (has his semi-retarded Euro-model) puts his pants on one leg at a time.
That SPORTSbyBROOKS has some fine looking women splashed all over it. Check out Ramona Chorleu. I call dibs.
Sheedshair:
That's the real tragedy of the disorder. How would YOU like it if you had to stand up to shit (while avoiding shitting on your shoes), sit down to piss (and most likely get your gear wet), and had to lie face down when you get with the ladies?
@WWSM: Is it too early for John Amaechi?
Im not sorry for shit. If an opportunity to make a joke about a gay-quarterback who could more easily serve his gay lovers due to his pants unzipping in the back presents itself, then I will make that joke (before someone else inevitably does). This is a free country and many men have fought to give me that right. And to you, Mr. Ufford, I would like to say thank you for fighting for my rights and fuck you for trying to take them away.
In all seriousness, I agree with you, Matt.
Do you know who is perfectly heterosexual? That Brady Quinn. He is the epitome of macho manliness.
Men's Health really portrayed him in a very heterosexual manner as well Peter.
From what I've read, it's quite possible that a few of the posters on here actually DO have to lie face down to get with the "ladies"
P.S. Dont ban me. I wouldnt be able to handle it. Id have to spend my workdays………..working. I kneel at your feet, begging forgiveness.
Is My Feet are HUGE referring to the missionary position?
Bigfan:
It's not that it's "too early", it's that making fun of people who are actually gay for being gay is sort of… I don't know – hateful, backwards, and disgusting? It's a bit too Pat Robertson for this site, no?
Making fun of straight guys who SHOULD be gay guys, on the other hand, is high brow and sophisticated.
WWSM- 100% agreed.
To elaborate:
"John Amechi takes it in the ass." Not funny.
"Vince Carter, Did Not Play: Anal Bleeding." Funny.
Now I know where the term 'ass backwards' came from!
Deuce!
Weed Against Speed says:
Is My Feet are HUGE referring to the missionary position?
I reply… I guess it depends on your mission… if your mission is to take it up the ass… then Yes!
Zing!
@WWSM: "straight guys who SHOULD be gay guys?" That has "VH1 Special" wriiten all over it.
Oh, Christ….does watching VH1 make me gay?
Hugh B Brown: Only if you watch it while engaging with another man's genitals.
Only if you watch it while engaging with another man's genitals.
Well, Im out.
Wow. He doesn't know the difference between the front and the back of his pants? I'd hate to be the girl who discovers that this same issue occurs for him in the bedroom.
I think we're all missing the bigger picture here…
at least Federer wasn't wearing Capri pants.
Why didn't anyone tell me my ass was this big?
Forget all this beaming stuff, I'm just going to walk.