Violet's turning violet!  Even though twoeightnine played with the color in Photoshop, the ass and gut of former heavyweight champion of the world Mike Tyson are disturbingly real.  From TMZ.com:

Ear-snackin' Iron Mike Tyson looks like he's getting into shape — pear shape!

Oh SNAP!  With a dry cool wit like that, I could be an action hero. 

But don't get distracted by TMZ's bottomless well of one-liners; the point of the story is that Mike Tyson is fat.  Which means he's probably off of coke.  Which is too bad.  It's better for business when he's crazy.  UNLESS… he's unlocked Diego Maradona's secret of being fat and hooked on cocaine.  And now I desperately want a reality show whee Mike Tyson and Diego Maradona sit around and try not to go on a drug binge.  And it takes place in Ibiza in the middle of summer.  And their roommates are Tara Reid and Lindsay Lohan.  And a 200-pound bag of cocaine.  Guess who doesn't get voted off the first week.