On this week's episode of When Metaphors Attack!… the Cleveland Browns' locker room is filled with sewage. Yep.
Old pipes in Cleveland's water system are largely to blame, city and stadium officials said Wednesday. Iron deposits flaked off the inside of the pipes and clogged toilet valves, causing a 160,000-gallon holding tank — necessary for when thousands of fans go to the restrooms at halftime — to overflow.
"Picture a waterfall," said Carl Meyer, Browns vice president of security and logistics. That water was combined with some sewage from the plumbing system, Meyer said… The overflow left 6 inches of water in the locker rooms and lower service level of the stadium, including food service areas.
Okay, okay — I get it. Cleveland is a shitty city. Cleveland's football team is called the Browns. Shit is brown. The Browns are shitty. God's being a little heavy-handed here. Most plagues are less subtle. And if that's the direction this is going… well, I'm gonna lay some money on Baltimore's Inner Harbor turning into blood. I mean, He's alread got His Linebacker there to help him out.
[FanHaus]
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Wait a minute, hold on…..the Browns have a vice president of logistics? Where was he when they drafted Tommy Vardell?
Ted Washington was seen leaving the handicapped stall minutes before the eruption.
@HHY. thats "touchdown" tommy vardell thank you very much.
Hey, he scored a lot of touchdowns in that one game against Notre Dame, so they drafted him.
This is a metaphor regarding the browns upcoming season.
By the way, 289 is off at a wedding this weekend, so he was unable to do a Photoshop for this post.
I'm not sure if I've ever been this disappointed.
Look Brady, we got you a bidet.
Does the saying, "what goes around comes around" really do this justice?
Brady should be familiar with the smell of shit around him, considering he is very familiar with the Brown EYE……
This is just like when the Patriots' locker room was flooded with Summers Eve.
On a side note if anybodys playing APF 2K8, you can put your team in Cleveland and one of the nicknames is the 'Steamers'
I'm not sure if I've ever been this disappointed.
C'mon, Matt. How about when your accountant informed you that you cannot claim whiskey as a "business expense"?
It's poop again!
I just ate chili…now I'm taking the Browns to the Superbowl. I hope I don't see much of their running game.
no Rob, this is just like when THE FALCONS locker room was flooded with suck………..
Cleveland is a shitty city. Cleveland's football team is called the Browns. Shit is brown.
So you're saying you want the team to be named the "Cleveland Shits".
@ bill…. NICE… it's too damn hot out here for a penguin
…Upon seeing the locker room, Jamal Lewis was convinced his trade was a hoax and the rest of the Ravens just moved with him up there… Meanwhile, Braylon Edwards took his shirt off and posed in the water, complaining that "it still smells like Ruben Droughns in here, god damn it"
Every time a player sees any shit in the water, that's 7 more years of immense suckitude for Browns.
BigTDog, thanks for the "running game" line, I'd never heard that attached to that bit.
They can blame the pipes all they want, we all know that the 4 year old butt plug in Brady Quinn's ass was finally pulled out and this was the aftermath.
This is also somewhat like when the Redskins' locker room filled with midgets using check books to prove their dicks work.
Damn Brady Quinn has really gotten SHIT ON lately! then again, so have i