In an unexpected development, Jeremy Shockey spent his last night before training camp at the strip club. Shockey took a bunch of teammates to Scores in preparation of the Giants' upcoming 7-9 season.
One dancer told Page Six, "Jeremy said he was being the big brother and treating them all to a night of fun. This was going to be their last chance to stay out late." "Jeremy is the coolest," said Scores dancer Devin. "He complimented me on my new boob job, which makes me a 36D."
Women are putty in the hands of a silver-tongued smooth talker like Jeremy Shockey. He's like a combination of James Bond and Oscar Wilde, except wittier and 100% straight.
Perhaps one day I'll graduate to the level of complimenting strippers' breast implants. I usually try to distract them with something shiny, or if I have coke, I say, "I have coke!" Then I'm Mr. Popular. Even Ruby loves me back for the next twenty minutes or so. Which, really, is more than enough time.
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7-9? Well, now you're just giving them unrealistic expectations.
any chance of shockey bringing some of those girls from scores up to albany ? the strip joints suck up here.
So the trick is to compliment their boob job. Jeremy Shock stripper connoisseur
coke = stripper bait.
Jeremy is sooo totally tubular!
UU- should we have them dance at Sutter's Mill?
much like myself, g-shock is still in search of the fabled mommy-daughter combo
Blackcapricorn – Sutter's works for me, plus we could get a decent hamburger there.
Quick, somebody send this photo to HotChicksWithDouchebags.com.
…or if I have coke, I say, "I have coke!" Then I'm Mr. Popular.
you're welcome for that line by the way
"I have coke!" also works on college chicks, I've found.
Shockey also likes to stick his fists up their asses and use them as stripper puppets.
The "I have coke" thing works well for me, too. I wait till they bend over to do a rail and then I hit them in the back of the head with the nearest blunt object. Works everytime.
On a completely unrelated note (sorry, Matt), I saw the Simpson's movie last night and it was the best fucking movie of all time. That is all.
He calls that the "Shockey Shocker", Burnsy.
Liutenant Winslow:
That us the ellusive SPORTSMAN'S DOUBLE. I think ever guyin America dreams of attaining such a mark.
Shockey asked Bill Parcells to be there, so he could convert him from a homo to a real man. Parcells, was too busy eating a restaurant with Charlie Weis.
"He complimented me on my new boob job, which makes me a 36D."
Who knew "sweet tits, babe" was such a great compliment.
time out. am i being led to believe that strippers get boob jobs ?
What is a stripper?
@ Lt and Brock
Actually, if its not asking too much, I would like a sister-sister-mother menage-a-four. And I grew up with the perfect entries. Two drop-dead gorgeous girls (one of whom I dated in Jr. High and only got to feel some tit, outside of shirt) and a mother (who my dad actually dated in high school) with big, fake titties. Ive actually done it about a hundred times in my head.
I usually just whip out my dick, pour a line of coke on it, and start shaking it. It's kinda like the "Banjo Minnow" for strippers.
You see.. this is what i don't like about the northwest. Coke might get you a lap dance.. but you have to bring Meth to get into the champagne room.
All i ever bring is joints… and all i ever get is dirty looks. Filthy whores.
Everyone knows the way to a stripper's heart to is act exactly like their abusive alcoholic pervert father.
WAS: It is the "step" father! I know, I have been working the MILF angle for quite some time now and all of the daughters end up at "Bottoms Up", or "Wild Horses." Who knew they would be so upset with me touching them there?!?!
Tonight I'm gonna be telling all the strippers "nice tits, I'd like to do stuff to them"
Thanks Shockey
I know those girls, their names are alexis and lindsay. They were in Sigma Kappa at JMU. They aren't strippers. Although every chick at JMU could have been classified as a whore.
Actually the girl on the left is named Chelsea, don't know the one on the right but you are correct about JMU
Anybody know if the Giants need a strong-side linebacker?
wittier than James Bond?……….surely you jest man………..
Shockey's got that excited look of "I'm gonna put it in their butts tonight".
Jeremy Shockey: Catches 30% of the balls thrown his way, catches 100% of the herpes.
"Hey sugartits, go deep. As in balls deep!!! Hey-O!" Shockey then proceeds to high-five his teammates.
"I wasn't invited?"
-Pacman Jones