The American League secured home-field advantage in the World Series by extending its All-Star Game winning streak to ten games with a 5-4 victory last night. Seattle Mariner Ichiro Suzuki earned MVP honors by going 3-for-3 with a two-run inside-the-park homer, while former Mariner Ken Griffey Jr was one of the few NL position players who decided to show up, driving in two runs and getting an outfield assist by throwing out former Mariner Alex Rodriguez at the plate.
The AL survived a scare in the 9th inning when lazy douchebag Brian Roberts ruined Mariner closer JJ Putz's 1-2-3 inning by allowing Dmitri Young (!) to get an infield single. Rattled by Roberts's incompetence, Putz gave up a two-run homer to Alfonso Soriano and a walk before giving way to Francisco Rogriguez, who walked the bases full before ending the game.
After the game, Ichiro looked dapper as he accepted a clear phallus from Bud Selig and a hybrid SUV from some car guy. Then Jeanne Zelasko conducted an awkward interview through Ichiro's translator, at the end of which she announced to the crowd, "…and he's gonna be a free agent!!!" Ummm… except not. Reports surfaced earlier in the evening that Ichiro signed an extension with the M's, but that would have required her to be, you know, prepared. But good work, Jeanne. Your makeup looked great. For a drag queen.
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3 for 3 and 2 rbi. that had to be one of the easier all-star mvp votes of all time. and what's up with the minature crystal replica of the washington monument ?
Ichiro went on to say if he ever said he thought Jeanne Zelasko was attractive, he would have to punch himself in the face.
First Pearl Harbor, now this…damn you Japan, damn you straight to hell
Didn't anyone tell Ichiro that the monochrome Regis look was so 5 minutes ago?
JJ Putz is the second best baseball name right behind Rusty Kuntz.
My vote went for the Taco Bell guy…he can sure swing a bat
Kazahito Tadano would like very much to win that trophy.
Cut Ms. Zelasko some slack; sitting so close to Kevin Kennedy has been known to cause "retardation by osmosis."
agreed mediapossum, rusty kuntz maybe the greatest pro sports name ever. i am old enough to remember when he played for the white sox. i'm hoping a guy named dick glover will someday play pro baseball. that would be the 2nd best name ever.
"Ass-wipe Johnson?"
"It's pronounced Azz-Wheep-Ay!"
I feel an Ichiro post warrants a big-breasted Asian pic.
I Fucking hate Zelasko. She's a fucking idiot….I think she should be penetrated with a prickly cactus for cutting Ernie Harwell off a few years back…Big pumpkin-headed bitch!
Big deal. Tim McCarver won 36 All Star MVP awards.
@Lloyd – I agree, cutting Harwell short just proved what a classless, useless talking head she is. Which FOX Sports exec is she nailing in the ass to keep her job? I think she actually makes Kennedy tolerable.
"In 2006, Jeanne admitted to having an affair with 17-year old Glencoe, California resident Lowell Tuckerman. Both agreed that it was nothing more than sexual"
I found this looking for her Harwell interview…
What kind of parent names their daughter Lowell?
Kaz Tadano makes Brady Quinn Look like Steve McQueen.
But good work, Jeanne. Your makeup looked great. For a drag queen.
Shortly after the interview was over, A-rod tackled Jeanne and asked her for a lap dance .
Matt, you're sending mixed messages here. First, you say halt the Brady Quinn jokes but then you post a link showing another, uhh, less then heterosexual picture of Mr. Quinn.
[bp1.blogger.com]
It reminds me of that scene in American Psycho were Patrick Bateman fucks the two whores while he poses in front of the mirror.
moseltov ichiro, you know what his motivation is right? ever since he was a boy he worked as hard as he could to rid himself of a future filled with painful and humiliating japanese game shows, which i'm convinced every other japanese citizen is stuck with. Play baseball in America, build cheap cars, or submit yourself to japanese game show television…..oh yeah a few freak geniuses get to work with sony.
Disregard my last post, I just read through the other thread. Long night. Im gonna shut up now.
follow my logic here….Dice K = Pics of Yoko M; Dice K = Japanese; Ichiro = Japanese; Dice k = Ichiro; ICHIRO = Pics of Yoko M
Hook that up – you can't argue with math.
What about Japanese games shows with tits?
[www.japanprobe.com];
tone, I'm intrigued by your theorem and would like to subscribe to your big-breasted Asian newsletter.
I had no idea that the All Star game was so much about the Mariner's until I read this post this morning.
J.J. Putz doesn't have any problems that pitching coach Dick Pole couldn't straighten out.
I'm glad Ichrio's stay, especially after picking up the MVP award last night. At least Bavasi doesn't has his head so far up his ass he can't make that deal.
Of course, almost everyone on the eat coast still thinks Seattle is in Canada. Or an island off of California. I'm surprised that they stayed up as late as they did to find out who the MVP was. What, like 10:00 their time? Poor babies.
Plus, I agree with Tone as well.
*staying, sorry can't type.
Plus, Stubby Clapp was the best name in baseball. When ever my friends drafted baseball on High Heat,he was always the last guy the computer picked.
[mlb.mlb.com];