Manchester United forward and Portugal national team member Cristiano Ronaldo was spotted kissing the lovely Bollywood actress Bipasha Basu (the very, very fine lady to the left) at a night club in Lisbon:

An onlooker told the Daily Star: "Cristiano and Bipasha were all over each other. If he has got a girlfriend she was the last thing on his mind. They were kissing and he was being very tender, cupping her face and staring into her eyes." 

He is dreamy, and Portuguese men make fine lovers. Stories of Vasco de Gama's "lingua franca" are the stuff of legend in West Africa. But isn't Ronaldo dating the lovely Gemma Atkinson? Surely, a hot-blooded, Iberian soccer star would only woo the finest the Subcontinent has to offer ("Freshen your drink, guvna?") in good faith. Perhaps he is angling to star in a Bollywood production of his own. Nice try buddy, but the new center is of cinematic artistry is reserved for true actors – like Mike Tyson. Plus, if your acting talent hasn't progressed since your pitiful display in the World Cup, may I suggest you hone your skills some place off Broadway.  Like Branson, Missouri. -KD  

See pics of the lovebirds at Kickette and more coverage on The Offside.