I was in attendance for the thrilling contest between the Philadelphia Phillies and San Diego Padres (Assistant Editor's note: Actual excitement of this game may be embellished by several beers consumed during the game), which the Fightin' Phils won 7-3, and I had a waking nightmare of a large, menacing, polydactyly slugger this morning.  Upon checking the box score this morning, I groggily discovered the freakish batsman of my nocturnal terror (Assistant Editor's note: Actual grogginess and terror of this nightmare may be enhanced by a 1AM drinking match with a bosomy Eastern European woman) was Antonio Alfonseca.  Yes, the Phillies closer with the extra digits grounded to 2nd in the top of the 9th.  It was quite comical, and I hoped to find a YouTube of the at-bat.  Alas, there is none, so this is what you get:    

I always suspected that Phillie Fanatic was a home-wrecker.  Harold shed no tears for Ethel when she died in this tragedy. -KD