Former South Carolina and Clemson stars have been caught in the mess that is BurnLounge, an online music store that is being sued by the Federal Trade Commission for being a pyramid scheme. Among the people smeared by the story are Steve Spurrier's son, the aptly named Steve Spurrier, Jr.

“When Bob Stoops got me, he said, ‘I’ve spoken to a lawyer about this. I’ve spoken to my agent. I’ve spoken to some people to find out if this is a legitimate thing. And everything they told me, this is a legitimate (business). Put your name on it and go do it,’” said Spurrier Jr., a member of Stoops’ Sooners staff from 1999 to 2001.

Man, I wonder if newspaper editors south of the Mason-Dixon have a pre-cooked "Southerners Fooled by Pyramid Scheme" story that they can run at a moment's notice.  Just change out the names every week — Britney Montclair, Robert E. Lee Johnson IV, Steve Spurrier, Jr — and they're all set.

I feel bad for my Southern readers.  I don't mean to disparage your beautiful part of the country.  Your football is excellent and your cheerleaders are divine.  It's just the 90% of the South that are retards make the sharp 10% look really bad.  Or is it 95/5?  I'm behind on my Census report on retardation.