WEEKEND PICKS: GOODBYE, JUNE
06.29.07
What to watch for in this weekend's biggest match-ups. Home team in ALL CAPS. All times Eastern.
Batman over SPIDER-MAN — I respect Batman more because he's rich. And a scientist.
Lucy Pinder over Michelle Marsh — I believe this photo is evidence enough. But really, when these two face off we're all winners.
Short-shorts and Heels over SUNDRESS — That's my recommendation for the ladies this summer. But what do I know, I just want to have sex with them.
NBA DRAFT over NFL Draft — Five minutes between picks versus 15 minutes. Brilliant!
Twins over TIGERS (Friday, 7:05 p.m.) – Great matchup of Santana and Verlander tonight. I say Johan brings it.
Kevin's got the weekend shift, so stop by when you're not otherwise enjoying your pre-4th of July non-holiday weekend. Try to stay out of jail, please. Unless some bartender tries to cut you off, because what does that guy know about handling his liquor anyway?
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Back-handing the bartender who's trying to cut you off over breaking a bottle over that no-good-cocksucker's-fucking-head.
Because an old fashioned drunken brawl is always cool. Assault with intent to do grave bodily harm followed by spending the weekend is a holding cell? Less cool.
GINORMOUS NATURAL BOOBS over Everything else in the whole world.
WWSM: As a man of the law and former bartender, I feel compelled to agree…although the latter is the much cooler story to tell your friends after they post your bail. If they don't post your bail, just re-enact the scenario the next time you see them.
Those, my friend, are a nice pair of lungs
What's a matter with you? Spider-Man is a scientist too! He invented the web fluid and shooters. He invented the Spider-tracers. He came up with a cure for the Lizard's lizard-ness. He's every bit the scientist that Batman is.
I must go now.