Freakin' everybody with a love of the NBA and at least a partially formed cerebellum is sharing their thoughts on last night's draft, so I'll spare you my perfectly ill-formed thoughts. Besides, I get paid to make dead hooker jokes, not provide analysis.
However, as a fan of All Things Pacific Northwest — except white people with dredlocks, I can't fucking stand them — I'd like to congratulate the Blazers and Sonics for giving the NBA a new center of gravity. Greg Oden and Kevin Durant went #1 and #2 as expected, then new Seattle GM Sam Presti shipped Ray Allen to Boston for Jeff Green at #5 plus Theo Ratliff Delonte West and Wally Sczerbiak. The Blazers, as expected, unloaded Zach Randolph — and though many credited Isiah Thomas for getting a 20-10 guy for Steve freakin Francis, you can expect the Blazers to buy out the Franchise to get some cap room.
Lots more to discuss, but none of it pertains to strippers and booze (not until Randolph gets to NYC, anyway), so I'm checking out of the discussion. In the meantime, I recommend you all check in at TrueHoop, where Henry Abbott has been killin' it on location — his talks with some of the tops draft picks shows how good blogging is better than straight journalism — and also the fabulosity that is Miss Gossip. Let's hear your draft thoughts and cancer jokes in the comments.
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It looks like Stern just realized something terrible has happened.
Carrot Top is playing for the Bulls?!?!?!?!?!?!?
289: Good job on adding ET's fingers to Noah's hands.
The suits were pretty toned own this year. It's almost like David Stern told them to stop shopping with Bishop Don Magic Juan.
um, toned down…
I thought Stephen A. Smith's head was going to explode when he heard about the Richardson for Wright trade. I was waiting for him to bitch-slap Jay Bilas for not being as pissed off as he was.
Zack Randolph AND Eddie Curry? If we can just coax Oliver Miller to come out of his Twinki-induced coma, the Knicks could have the most physically grotesque front-line in NBA history.
Also, can we officially pull the plug on Danny Ainge and let him drift off to the sweet hereafter, where puppies run all day and everyone wins at everything?
Wait a second, Fritz The Cat got drafted into the NBA?
…the Knicks could have the most physically grotesque front-line in NBA history.
There's still a chance; Greg Ostertag is considering a comeback!
[sports.aol.com]
while cancer has more inherent comedic value, dead hooker jokes provide for better mental visuals.
i think.
This friend of mine had felt unwell for months, so he decided to see his doctor. The doctor examined him and referred him to the hospital to see various specialists. After a couple of weeks, all the test results came through, so my friend returned to see his doctor.
"I'm very sorry", said the doctor. "I'm afraid I have bad news and worse news."
"Tell me the bad."
"I'll be honest, you have cancer, you'll be dead in three months."
"Oh Jesus. I cant believe this. Why God? Whyyyyyyyyy? You are so cruel, what could possibly be worse news then that?"
"You also have Alzheimer's Disease."
"Alzheimer's? Oh well, at least I don't have cancer."
while i have an absolute hatred for the heat and i could individually pick apart my loathe for the cavs (all but big z he's the dog) if anyone would want to read a page or two of pure hate, i had a respect for the bulls even though now a rival of the pistons, but this dojo has now given me a reason to hate the bulls:
Joakim Noah is about as cool as pullin out.
anyway i hope the pistons can start workin on gettin a big guy, weber is lack of youth is, well he's too old, and i wouldn't even let dale davis or nazr play on my wednesday lunch league team
That is one ugly chick standing next to Stern.
yeah actually looks a bit like Macy Gray…..i try to say goodbye and i choke,
it'll be interesting to see if Noah and Big Ben's hair get tangled up while playing.
Joakim Noah is a fucking goon. I hate him and his hot old Mom.
Stephen A. Smith is the most annoying anaylst of all time.
Adam Haluska was drafted!
Looks like Sideshow Bob and Bart……….I preffer Homer. Where is Homer?
This dudes mom was a beauty queen? What happened….I mean, you think she ever looks at him and thinks maybe he is somebody elses kid. She should take herself on Maury to find out she's not the baby mama. That tennis player must be pretty smooth to have convinced her she was pregnant for nine months and then pushed that thing out her butt….or 11 months, I think he was overcooked.
Once again, David Stern shows off his gorilla-like strength, nearly crushing Joakim Noah's big mitt.
It looks like the Bulls drafted Huggy Bear, but watching him sit eight or nine spots longer than he thought was DELICIOUS.
hey, at least Noah isn't a midget. Jeez, didn't the Rockets learn from the Saints and the Raiders? You can't trust guys named "Aaron Brooks"
Joakim Noah, setting the clock backwards on stereotypes by 90 years. And he's not even black.
WOW! Sanjaya can play basketball, too? His agent is awesome!
Stephan A Smith is s shitty analyst who needs to drop his inner ghetto, ebonic, retarded speech pattern.
*is a
Noah and Nocioni! the bulls have officially become the most annoying franchise in all of sports
I'm really happy for Buckwheat's little brother. He's getting a once in a lifetime chance to play in the NBA.
I love superman and tits… great combo BigFan
My god, look at the angry expression on his face. I thought he'd be happy to get drafted.
That is the best prom picture ever.
He looks like the guy from Gym Class Heros.
Looks like Ufford ain't the only one poopin' out hammers these days. That, my friends, is the look of pained concentration.
Noah is holding up the number of points per game he'll score, and the number of years he'll be in the league. What a homo.
everything i hate about joakim noah, summarized into one photograph
YOU'RE UGLY!
Too bad Seattle won't have a team for too long.
All I can think of when I look at that is "Some novelties were provided by Jack's Joke Shop. If it aint funny it ain't worth Jack of South Attleboro" ::Bowtie Spins:: "That's Jack's, Exit 14 off 295."
"Some of my novelties were provided by Jack's Joke Shop of South Attleboro" ::Bowtie spins while making a whirling noise:: "That's Jack's, Exit 14 off 295."
You have to respect a guy who shows up for pretty much his first day on the job looking like common street trash. I envy Jo-No.
Did Stephen A. eat some cheese doodles?
I quit following the Bulls after Jerry Krause emasculated the team, but Jeebus Almighty: this guy is the bastard love child of PeeWee Herman and that Justin Guardini (sp?) runner up from the first year of "American Idol." And the poor kid from down the street who sells American flags at the airport.
I actually root against the Bulls, and yet feel compelled to commit hara-kiri just out of civic shame.