I know how much everyone loves getting updates about African soccer — specifically, the Ugandan Super League — so I thought you might want to know that the Mbale Heroes are in danger of relegation after forfeiting a match against league powerhouse URA… because they all had diarrhea.
Heroes wrote to national football league secretary Moses Magogo on Saturday requesting that the match be rescheduled to allow their players recover. Magogo rejected the initial plea but was forced to give the Mbale side a hearing after they sent supporting documents yesterday.
“They sent a fax last Saturday which I saw on Monday but I turned down their request because they hadn’t attached supporting medical documents,” Magogo revealed. “They later sent some medical documents very late which I could not readily interpret. I am waiting for Dr. Ronald Kisolo to look at their documents.”
They should have all crapped in the same garbage bag and then mailed it to him. You get huge UPS package of liquid shit, you know people aren't messin' around.
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is Shawn Marion the Heroes' keeper?
to Uganda: ya butt stinks
I just shit my pants right now and I'm still at work. Pussies!
They should have made them play. With all the diarrhea all over the field, I bet there would be a lot less diving.
Laurence Maroney has some advice for them, I believe.
How does a whole team get diarrhea? That must have been some godawful food!
The best part of that story? The headline:
"Heroes Derailed by Diarrhea".
Now THAT is a Spiderman sequel I can get into.
I have to believe that "forfeit, team diarrhea" appears often in Ugandan soccer box scores…followed closely by "game delayed, ebola outbreak."
(For Ugandan WL readers, "click-click-raspberry sound-click-click whoop!")
Hugh, the only way Ugandans will understand that series of random sounds is if they're invaded by Zimbabwe.
This happened to my high school football team. Contrary to what you might think, bus drivers really do care about seat stains.
You'd think someone with the last name Ma-GoGo could understand the team diarrhea problem.
All this for shits and giggles.
I wondered what Najeh Davenport did in the off-season. I guess I now know.
When the hell did Uganda get fax machines???
I was on Team Dirrhea for 3 seasons.
Internet was down practically all day at work & just came back up, and I get Yoko and diarrhea. God bless you Matt.
Do league rules allow them to play with adult diapers on? Depends.
(sorry)
Team Diarrhea. Oops.
Moses Magaogo doesn't take any crap and he ain't bullshittin.
Does this cement that the Mbale Heroes are the Shittiest team in the Ugandan Super League?
I can't imagine any of the Heroes' fans want to get behind their favorite team right now.
Hugh –
Very nicely done. It's been far too long since a good old fashioned Ebola joke turned up here.
I believe another Ugandan Super League game between Kampala Headhunters and Entebbe Hostages was cancelled because someone left all tha match balls in the fridge.