Tank Johnson, the former Bears defensive tackle who was cut last week following an 8-game suspension levied by Der Kommissar, has often spoken about a troubled childhood during which his father was in and out of prison and his mother did drugs.  Except, uh, it may not be true.

''You can't fabricate things, and you can't go around making up accusations and building up stories based on your family,'' said [aunt] Chris Johnson, who lives in Gary.  Said [father] Terry Johnson Sr: ''I've never been in prison."

Tank Johnson also has told a story about how someone doused him with gasoline and attempted to set him on fire when he lived in Gary. Chris Johnson said she had ''no idea'' if that is true.  She said the family ''loves Tank unconditionally, but we don't understand the fabrications and lies. Nobody knows why he does it.''

Ugh, I can't stand liars.  One time I killed a person for lying.  I smashed his head in with a ballpeen hammer, and when the cops showed up they couldn't charge me with a crime because they couldn't find the murder weapon because I ate it.  I was able to digest the wooden handle, but pooping the hammer head out three days later hurt like hell.  True story.

Story via the FanHaus