How awesome is professional lacrosse? Well, the Rochester Rattlers realize the inherent connection between Borat and Rock, Paper, Scissors tournaments, so that should tell you everything you need to know. Of course, they can't actually say "Borat," which makes the promotions even awesomer. By which I mean crappier.
J.D. Oxford's will host the Bud Light Rock, Paper, Scissors tournament with "Kazakhstan’s favorite citizen." The winner of the tournament will receive a Bud Light Zone 8 Pack of tickets to the Saturday, June 23rd Major League Lacrosse game between the Rattlers and the Philadelphia Barrage… The Rattlers will host their own Bud Light Rock, Paper, Scissors tournament on Saturday, July 14th at PAETEC Park…
On Saturday, the Rattlers will honor the glorious nation of Kazakhstan. All citizens of Kazakhstan will receive a free ticket by showing their passports at the box office. Anyone dressed up like their favorite Kazakhstan citizen will get a buy one get one ticket offer.
I recommend that everyone in the Rochester area attend. We have to support pro lacrosse. It's the only sports league that employs men who grew up in expensive private boarding schools in the Northeast, and if they lose their jobs they'll have to go back to their old neighborhoods… we can't sentence them to a life of crime on the mean streets of Martha's Vineyard.
![[avatar]](http://p.uproxxcdn.com/photo/226/thumb)
![[image]](http://cdn.wl.uproxx.com/wp-content/thumbnails/130/110/2013/05/Water-Skiing-Baby-180x180.jpg)
![[image]](http://cdn.wl.uproxx.com/wp-content/thumbnails/130/110/2012/10/child_soccer_ball_to_face-180x180.png)
![[image]](http://cdn.wl.uproxx.com/wp-content/thumbnails/130/110/2011/09/Peewee-Football-180x180.jpg)
![[image]](http://cdn.wl.uproxx.com/wp-content/thumbnails/130/110/2009/12/alg_weigtlifting_elizabeth-poblete-135x135.jpg)
They should have just used Borat's name anyway becuase it's not like anyone's paying attention to professional whatever-they-play anyway.
What? Was "gang-rape a stripper at the frat house night" a played-out promotion on the pro lacrosse circuit?
If this were the Professional Shurik League, then the promotion would work.
Always open w/ the bureaucrat gambit.
@Hercules Rockefeller: I'm strictly an avalanche man, myself.
When you say Rochester, I think Rattlers.
Oates (not Hall) – obviously, you are not familiar with the Phoenix Polar Bears.
How many Kazakhstanies are in the Rochester area to take advantage of the free tix?
Collin Finnerty is coming dressed as a broomhandle.
To quote George Carlin…
"lacrosse is a fagot college activity….not a sport"
Although Kazakhstan a glorious country, it have a problem, too: economic, social, and lacrosse.
The answer to the equation is:
Roshambo + Lacrosse + Kazhakstan = A boring game surrounded by people who smell bad.
To all you douchebags! Lacrosse is not the fastest growing sport in the good ole' US of A for nothing. I agree the Rattlers could have picked a better way to get people to come to the game, but at least the game has some action. Unlike everyones beloved game of baseball, lacrosse actually takes skill AND physical activity. All That Is Man quotes it as being a fagot sport, number one learn how to spell asshole, number two I would rather watch old women crochet a sweater than watch over payed, juiced up, fat pieces of shit stand around and scratch their nuts. Try taking in a game sometime and actually understanding what it is about and that it is the oldest game in America. Dont assume everyone playing it grew up rich, I for one did not, and I now alot of others who didnt either. Thats my 2 cents bitches!!!
^ I love this site.
Zzzzz: Women play lacrosse, too.
Case closed.
zzzzzzzz…….
My response to that comment is your name.
I love when people play the "learn to spell" card and then spell everything wrong and forget what a comma is.
I knew I would get blasted. Oh God it Hurts!!! All of you SUCK IT!
That sure was alot of words.
Another major pet peeve.
Lacross is so gay. If you are that good with a stick, why wouldn't you just play hockey?
Sorry to make this thread confusing. When I ban someone, all their comments disappear.
Obviously zzzzzz isn't familiar with Extreme Baseball. It's Extreme.
@iamsofaking If you are really good with a stick…you star in porn.
I don't understand why they can't say Borat. Sascha baron Cohen has made a living off of not getting legal permission to put someone on television and they think he would sue? That would make him one biiiiiiiig hypocritical asshole…
oh yeah, wa wa wee wa
"Ahh, my wife….she scared of man with…chocolate face."
This is funnier in person; my Borat impression is really coming along!
compton = home of the body bag
martha's vineyard = home of the shopping bag
i honor of this post mentioning rochester, ny i will now drink a can of genesse beer
Living in Rochester, how did I not hear about this?
Don't worry Ufford, this Rochesterian will now attend.
Here's where I'm confused. What if "your favorite Kazazh" was the town rapist? Would the entire city of Rochester get free tickets just by going to the bar as themselves???
Aww, man. I guess there was a guy called zzzzzz who went down a storm (or a drain). Was he a lacrosse fan? He must be lonely.
As a Rochestarian, (Rochesterite? Rochesterican?) I can assure you this is on the better side of advertising for our fair (read: third highest murder rate city in New York State) city.
And never doubt the locals' enthusiasm for low-rent beer and low-rent sports. These kinds of things always combine into a powderkeg of "Growing Up Gotti"-filled shouting matches… and lacrosse.
Also didn't the team used to be called the Knighthawks? (At least a little better than "Rattlers.") Or do we honestly have TWO semi-pro lacrosse teams in this shit-ass city?
No, we really do.
K-Hawks indoor, Rattlers outdoor.