Is there anything worse in the sports media than completely senseless weekly power rankings?  Well, yes: a conversation between Stephen A. Smith and Dick Vitale. And also people who actually have some kind of emotional investment in power rankings.

Do you care about other people's power rankings? If you answered yes, then you are a dipshit. If not, then these are the power rankings for you.

1. Scarlett.  A while back a German reader sent me a zip file with 50 photos of her.  He's my hero.  And probably in jail now.

2. Fishing.  Ow, my groin! 

3. Dice-K.  A no-decision as the Red Sox gets swept.  Doesn't sound like a big deal until you see the picture. 

4. Golf.  Gators and strippers, or drinking and driving?  Pretty good week for links links. 

5. New sheets.  So much better than sleeping on a bare mattress.  Or in an alley, depending on the day of the week.

6. Italian soccer.  Match-fixing and now this, the gayest thing ever. But hey, that World Cup last year was nice.

7. Kuwaiti basketball.  Somewhat tougher than you might imagine. 

8. Jon Kitna.  The Touchdown Assassin is coming for you, NFL.  Better hire a czar, like how the government hired a czar for Iraq. 

9. Mustard.  I prefer a glass of vintage Dijon with dinner, but I suppose I could chug some French's yellow at the ballpark.

10. Pneumatic pogo sticks.  How to get the ladies.

Random-ass video: you may have caught the link earlier in the week, but if not… episode 4 dropped, and the remix is HOT.

I, for one, downloaded it on iTunes so I can watch it on my video iPod.  I heard that's what the kids do these days.