06.29.07 POWER RANKINGS: WE ALL WANNA BE MODELS
Is there anything worse in the sports media than completely senseless weekly power rankings? Well, yes: a conversation between Stephen A. Smith and Dick Vitale. And also people who actually have some kind of emotional investment in power rankings.
Do you care about other people's power rankings? If you answered yes, then you are a dipshit. If not, then these are the power rankings for you.
1. Scarlett. A while back a German reader sent me a zip file with 50 photos of her. He's my hero. And probably in jail now.
2. Fishing. Ow, my groin!
3. Dice-K. A no-decision as the Red Sox gets swept. Doesn't sound like a big deal until you see the picture.
4. Golf. Gators and strippers, or drinking and driving? Pretty good week for links links.
5. New sheets. So much better than sleeping on a bare mattress. Or in an alley, depending on the day of the week.
6. Italian soccer. Match-fixing and now this, the gayest thing ever. But hey, that World Cup last year was nice.
7. Kuwaiti basketball. Somewhat tougher than you might imagine.
8. Jon Kitna. The Touchdown Assassin is coming for you, NFL. Better hire a czar, like how the government hired a czar for Iraq.
9. Mustard. I prefer a glass of vintage Dijon with dinner, but I suppose I could chug some French's yellow at the ballpark.
10. Pneumatic pogo sticks. How to get the ladies.
Random-ass video: you may have caught the link earlier in the week, but if not… episode 4 dropped, and the remix is HOT.
I, for one, downloaded it on iTunes so I can watch it on my video iPod. I heard that's what the kids do these days.
![[image]](http://cdn.wl.uproxx.com/wp-content/thumbnails/130/110/2009/11/megan-fox-nyt-out-11.jpg)
![[image]](http://cdn.wl.uproxx.com/wp-content/thumbnails/130/110/2009/11/amanda_harrington-135x135.jpg)
![[image]](http://cdn.wl.uproxx.com/wp-content/thumbnails/130/110/2009/10/mermaid-135x135.jpg)
![[image]](http://cdn.wl.uproxx.com/wp-content/thumbnails/130/110/2009/10/isla-fisher1-115x115.jpg)
![[image]](http://cdn.wl.uproxx.com/wp-content/thumbnails/130/110/2009/10/kate-beckinsale-115x115.jpg)
![[image]](http://cdn.wl.uproxx.com/wp-content/thumbnails/130/110/2009/10/rio-115x115.jpg)
There are 6 comments about:
POWER RANKINGS: WE ALL WANNA BE MODELS
I've heard that the Browns are in talks to trade Brady Quinn for a planet full of unicorns. You know, so they can become slightly less gay.
a conversation between Stephen A. Smith and Dick Vitale.
I managed to turn on the NBA draft to see those two douchebags bickering at each other across a split screen. I haven't been that conflicted about who to root against since reading about the Nazi-Soviet battles in World War II.
As much as I don't like soccer, even I didn't think I'd see the day where dudes on a pogo-stick look unquestionably more masculine than pro soccer players. Putcherfuckinpantson, ass-hat.
That rock sounds just like my grandmother.
How did we not get a "Planet Unicorn Heyyyy" tag?
Unicorns aren't gay.
Proof: I've got a unicorn tattoo that uses my navel as it's anus.
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