"Saint Andrew's Net" is With Leather's daily link dump, written by assistant editor/Chicago native KD. Expect sports and tits.

• Sammy's Sports Sermons listens to the Big Hurt's 500th home run.  I always thought that Jim Kaat looked a little like Danny Kaye.  And didn't Danny have an affair with Sir Laurence Olivier? This proves my point that the Twins are gay. (Due to popular demand, lovely Lucy returns with the lovely Michelle – more NSFW here.)
• The Ladies… congratulate Craig Biggio on his 3,000th hit.  You just knew Jeff Bagwell would hog the spotlight the day Frank Thomas hit #500.  Wouldn't it be cool if they were fraternal twins? I smell sequel, and I'd very much enjoy seeing the lovely Kelly Preston's breasts again.   
• The Sports Hernia writes the NBA Draft that could have been.  Bravo to the Knicks who stole DePaul Blue Demon Wilson Chandler with the #28 pick. For an examination of what really happened, see Grandmaster Abbot.
• Dave Stewart analyzes the Giants on Throwin' Heat.  Your offense will be comatose when your lead-off batter is hitting .218. At least he can steal a base, oh wait . . .     
• Home Run Derby thinks Bonds' mistress has man-hands.  Ugh. Kimberly Bell's humongous hams remind me of the cold, icy grip of Father McNeely (shudder).
• On The Show capsizes the Yanks' ship with Shea Hillenbrand's help.  I thought fans of the Bronx Bombers would welcome a player who used an Ozzie Guillen term of endearment to describe Theo Epstein. 

Send your submissions for Saint Andrew's Net to withleather@gmail.com.

I know how much everyone loves getting updates about African soccer — specifically, the Ugandan Super League — so I thought you might want to know that the Mbale Heroes are in danger of relegation after forfeiting a match against league powerhouse URA… because they all had diarrhea.

Heroes wrote to national football league secretary Moses Magogo on Saturday requesting that the match be rescheduled to allow their players recover. Magogo rejected the initial plea but was forced to give the Mbale side a hearing after they sent supporting documents yesterday.

“They sent a fax last Saturday which I saw on Monday but I turned down their request because they hadn’t attached supporting medical documents,” Magogo revealed. “They later sent some medical documents very late which I could not readily interpret. I am waiting for Dr. Ronald Kisolo to look at their documents.”

They should have all crapped in the same garbage bag and then mailed it to him.  You get huge UPS package of liquid shit, you know people aren't messin' around.

After seeing the Japanese dabble in actually playing real sports, it's nice to see them what they do best: invent twisted ways to demean or hurt people.  Today's episode: rally car dentistry!

To be fair, it's better than my dental plan, which is "brush teeth frequently."  I also wear a mouth guard whenever I leave the house.  You never know when a bum will just hit you in the mouth for no reason.  Like yesterday.  All I did was stand nearby and say, "Don't let him beg, you're just encouraging him."

My favorite part is when the fish hits him in the groin. 

Need more fishing videos that aren't particularly new?  Who doesn't!  Head over to Bounty Fishing. 

Tom Brady is fixing up his condo in Boston, and — get this — he didn't hire union plumbers.  Can you believe what an asshole he is?  So now the union plumbers are picketing, even though (a) Brady had no hand in choosing who got the contract, and (b) no union plumbers tried to get the job during the bidding process.

"We’re not going to any Pats games until he builds union," said Francis Jensen of Local 12, who with about a half-dozen of his brethren threw up an informational picket line in front of No. 12’s Back Bay condo yesterday.

Added union captain Tom Koney: "Here’s a guy who gets paid millions for what he does but he doesn’t believe in paying plumbers a decent wage."

That's totally not true!  Dreamboat loves plumbers!  He wants to make sure they get the union wage of $61.75 (yes, per hour).  In fact, "Plumber's union rights" was at the top of his to-do list this offseason.  Right after the humanitarian trip to Africa and the romantic Paris getaway with his Brazilian supermodel girlfriend.  Oh, and fashion week in Milan.  And OTA workouts with his new wide receivers.  But the plumber's union was right there at #5 on the list.

This is awful.  The union plumber strike could destroy local support and cripple the Patriots financially.

UPDATE: Nation of Islam Sportsblog has a great take on this. 

It's so strange to see the Japanese play a normal sport.  No pogo sticks, no gravure idols, no tentacle porn, no Hello Kitty, no insect costumes or cruelly devised punishments for failure.  Not even sex with children.  It's like I don't even know you, Japan.

Perhaps that explains why one of players on the national team celebrates after scoring on the wrong goal.