06.20.07 PACMAN JONES CHARGED WITH 2 FELONIES

Pacman Jones continues to fulfill his destiny, as the Clark County D.A. has charged him with two counts of felony coercion in the incident that led to the paralyzing shooting of a strip club bouncer.  What's felony coercion?  I'm not really sure, because I read the .pdf legal document that explained it all.  It was just a whole bunch of "herewith" and "did then illegally" and "forthwith" and other lawyer words that don't actually mean anything.  But from what I can tell, threatening to kill people and attacking people in a strip club is illegal.

Anyway, it's not like this matters.  His charges will get reduced to misdemeanors and no one will ever be found guilty of a near-fatal shooting that has destroyed someone's life.  And these fucking stories will keep happening until Pacman gets banned from the NFL for life, then I'll still have to write about him every time he gets picked up on another charge until he finally gets killed back in his old neighborhood.  And then everyone will write obituaries saying "What a tragic waste of talent." 

Everyone except me.  Fuck Pacman Jones.  I'm tired of writing about him.  I mean, he isn't something you can just ignore, like the NHL or NBA playoffs.  The sooner he dies the better.  And by "dies" I mean "gets his act cleaned up and flies right for the rest of his Hall of Fame career."

Heh.  That's the funniest joke I've written all day.