MURDERED CRICKET COACH NOT MURDERED
06.12.07
Jamaican police have determined that Bob Woolmer — the Pakistani cricket coach who mysteriously died the day after his team's embarrassing St Paddy's Day loss to the Irish at the cricket World Cup — was not murdered as was long expected, but instead died of natural causes.
[Police Comissioner Lucius] Thomas said Tuesday a British pathologist reviewed the Jamaican coroner's report saying Woolmer had been strangled and came to the opposite conclusion, finding that he died from unspecified natural causes. The initial autopsy said a bone had been broken in the coach's neck, but Deputy Police Commissioner Mark Shields said the other pathologists determined that was false.
"The Jamaican Constabulary Force accepts these findings and has now closed its investigation into the death of Mr. Bob Woolmer," Thomas said.
Keep in mind that blood, vomit, and diarrhea were splattered over the bathroom walls when Woolmer was found unconscious in his room. How does someone die like that and they just call it "unspecified natural causes"? At least call it ebola. That's what it sounds like to me.
But I guess that's the Jamaican police for you. Most of their cases are to determine the real winner of the wet t-shirt contest.

You had the Sexiest Day Ever in the bag, and then you drop the ball with this image. Nice job, Schilling.
"blood, vomit and diarrhea were splattered over the bathroom walls"
that's hot.
I'd like to toss a few balls at her wickets.
"How does someone die like that and they just call it "unspecified natural causes"?"
I'm thinking he had some bad food at the hotel bar. Goes up to his room in a rush to make it to the toilet. He succeeds, but the smell is so awful that it causes him to vomit. In an attempt to clean up, he slips and falls face-first into the mirror, simultaneously breaking his neck and cutting his face, splattering blood around the room.
Please, please, please let this be an episode of CSI:Miami next season. Has the potential for the best Horatio one-liner ever.
This reminds of me of the South Park episode where Kenny's dad has a bloody nose, explosive diarrhea, and uncontrollable vomiting all at the same time…PRICELESS!!!
Why does "The Jamaican Constabulary Force" not inspire more confidence?
Praise be to Allah for those shinguards; I never would have realized it was a cricket themed picture!
Don't forget to Thank God for those gloves, too!
@whowillsexmutombo: could it be from the way they handled Anna Nicole Smith?
Praise be to Allah for those shinguards; I never would have realized it was a cricket themed picture!
Don't forget to Thank God for those gloves, too!
There are shinguards and gloves in that picture?
Keep in mind that blood, vomit, and diarrhea were splattered over the bathroom walls when Woolmer was found unconscious in his room
Sounds like Brady Quinn's birthday bash.
Clearly Van De Sloot is at it again.
"Keep in mind that blood, vomit, and diarrhea were splattered over the bathroom walls… How does someone die like that and they just call it "unspecified natural causes"?
I call it an allergic reaction to Serena Williams pictures.
"blood, vomit and diarrhea were splattered over the bathroom walls"
Is it Tuesday again already?
"blood, vomit and diarrhea were splattered over the bathroom walls"
Sounds like me after tuesday's .15 cent wings night…
+1 for the picture, -1 for it being about cricket. I had a hot girl on a long plane flight describe to me how you play cricket once and I still don't know.
Queue "The Steakhouse Incident"
Jamaican me crazy.
I'm sorry.
Serious cat is not serious?
Blackcap, did she describe it in a super sexy English accent?
Isn't this what happened to the dude from INXS? His last name was Woolmer, too, right? Autoerotic asphyxiation runs in families. I saw it Nova.
Turns out there are words next to that picture.
Hmm. Who knew?
Mike- a super sexy Irish accent and she was super cute so big surprise I don't remember a word she said.
+1 Otto Man.
If not murdering cricket coaches is all I have to do to get you to post images like that then I'm all over it. Where can I find one?
It is a fact* that 90% of murders in Jamaica involve the use of a machete. No machete = no murder. A simple formula that 60% of the time works everytime.
*Asterisk is a good name for a band