My day is richer now that I've seen these photos of Steelers kicker Jeff Reed on Deadspin. The hair! The wristband! The dog tags! The silver-dollar nipples! Could he be the sexiest athlete of this generation? Not if I can be the man to break the sex barrier of the Women's Pillow-Fighting League.
(p.s. Somebody, please, put me in contact with the gentleman on the left. Who's his personal trainer? How did he get that figure? I'm guessing a deep-fried can of frosting for dessert after a sensible meal of bacon-wrapped donuts. Five times daily.)
(p.p.s. Sexiest day ever? Sexiest day ever.)
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1?
"Sexiest day ever?"
Yeah…if you're name is Jame Gumb.
If you look at it from the right angle, it looks like the kicker is wearing the fat ass on his arm like a shield, Captain America style. Which is really rather original.
That guy is about to chomp down on Reed's arm like a turkey leg.
That pretty much sums up every bar in Pittsburgh. Ever.
"If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put you and I together. At a CVS. So you could help me carry out all of the vitalis for men in the store."
That just happens to be at the Locker Room on the Sahside of Pittsburgh, owned by none other than Hines Ward. Been there done that.
Why is he holding the fat guys hand? I'd be cupping titties with both hands. BOOK IT!
I have a lot of withleather pride, but the commenters over on deadspin have absolutely killed it on this post. Do yourself a favor and waste 5 minutes reading them.
He's about to John Daly that bitch.
Somebody, please, put me in contact with the gentleman on the left. Who's his personal trainer?
Isn't it obvious? The 1895 Athletic Department.
today is quite the day… Jeff Reed, Serena, Crazy LiLo… and that doesn't even include the scary shots of Britney Spears floating around the net today.
The suspense is killing me – you're sitting on some new "hoo boy that's gay" pics of Brady Quinn you're going to post at 5pm, right? Right??
Somebody, please, put me in contact with the gentleman on the left. Who's his personal trainer?
Isn't it obvious? The 1895 Athletic Department.
The only athletic thing that guy does is get up from the couch
"Ben Roethlisberger once caught me sniffing his jock…you wanna fuck?"
Careful, now. You don't want to wear out that "Jeff Reed" tag too soon.
I thought Ghost Rider had hair made of flames?
no, yes, no, yes (good enough to hit it from the back)
Who wants to touch Jeff Reed? I said who wants to fucking touch me!?!?!
Looks like Jeff Reed picked the wrong week to stop sniffing glue.
Good to see that Bobby Bacala is hanging out with Jeff Reed now that The Sopranos is over.
The youngest Gotti brother has let himself go.
Fun fact: Jeff Reed is 5-8 in his career from 50+. Judging from the pictures, I have to say that he's getting a preseason reminder that they all look good from a distance.
Fortunately, the happiness I feel because this isn't a story about Janikowski has covered the fact that I threw up a little.
Now I see why the Steeler-impersonator never tried to be Jeff Reed. There's a lack of dignity and then there's a complete lack of dignity.
Who wants to play with the Weasle, buuuuuuudy.
I love it, I absolutely love it. He has the suave, pinpoint precision of Acki in One Crazy Summer, with a splash of Booger.
Any picture of a kicker not taking a picture of his own junk in the mirror is an okay picture of a kicker. The bar is low.
I like his hair. I wore mine like that briefly but i was struck by Lightning. That's Mike Lightning, my hairdresser. He's very flamboyant and a real hit with the ladies. Just like Flash here.
Iceman and Slider still got it. They're about to sing "You've Lost that Loving Feeling."
I see this friggin troll doll all over pittsburgh…annoying! He is a Penguin fan though. For a while I thought he was stalking me…I couldn't even go to the card store for my Mom's birthday without seeing him.
Wide Right, the newest Uber Street Fighter character…
thats gotta be marguireta mammas down the burgh. I now have to go kill myself because i have frequented the same place as huge hair shirtless man.
That picture of Jeff Reed with Chelsea Clinton is not going to help Hillary's campaign.
Is that Da Weezer Pauly Shore?!