06.04.07 GARY SHEFFIELD IS A JACKASS
By now you've certainly heard of Gary Sheffield's expert sociological analysis of major league baseball's minority population. It's kind of complex, and it's unlikely you'll be able to comprehend it if you don't have your doctorate, but I'll try to explain it terms you can understand: the influx of Latino MLB players has coincided with the drop-off in black players because you can control the Hispanics but not the blacks, dawg.
"I called it years ago. What I called is that you're going to see more black faces, but there ain't no English going to be coming out. … [It's about] being able to tell [Latin players] what to do — being able to control them. Where I'm from, you can't control us. You might get a guy to do it that way for a while because he wants to benefit, but in the end, he is going to go back to being who he is. And that's a person that you're going to talk to with respect, you're going to talk to like a man. These are the things my race demands. So, if you're equally good as this Latin player, guess who's going to get sent home? I know a lot of players that are home now can outplay a lot of these guys."
I'd say that about sums it up. It couldn't have less to do with young blacks in America playing other sports, or the "fact" that young Latin Americans eat, sleep, and breathe baseball. In reality, America is chock-full of young blacks who can outplay Albert Pujols, Manny Ramirez, and Vlad Guerrero. But Bud Selig put them all in prison because he's racist. True story.
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There are 31 comments about:
GARY SHEFFIELD IS A JACKASS
So is Sheffield saying, in terms of baseball, that Latino is the new Black?
Sheff is a goddamn genius.
"but in the end, he is going to go back to being who he is."
i.e. Michael Vick, Elijah Dukes, Ron Artest…..
Is that Farrakhan's body on that 'shop?
I bet the High School kid Michael Burgess, who's a senior at Sheff's as well as Dukes, Crazy Carl Everrett and Doc Gooden, is pumped that Sheff keeps on talking as he watches his draft status plummet by association with this moron. He's black so under Sheff's theory he can't be controlled.
What I called is that you're going to see more black faces, but there ain't no English going to be coming out.
Uh what? What do you mean by there ain't no English going to be coming out? I award you no points, and may God have mercy on your soul.
You have got to be shitting me!!!! That explains everything!!!! Quick, get PacMan Jones, and sign him up for baseball!!!
I have a dream…
Yo quiero Roberto Clemente.
What I called is that you're going to see more black faces, but there ain't no English going to be coming out.
The delicious irony of that statement. Or for Gary.
Or for Gary"It's those gosh darn Balco steroids that make me so hard to manage, Coach."
Yeah I noticed how docile those latinos are. Like Carlos Zambrano or Manny Ramirez. Or Jauquin Andujar or Pedro Guerrero. Or Juan Marichel or Orlando Cepeda. Those guys do whatever you tell them to. No questions asked.
So what i am getting is that he is saying black people are uncontrollable. Yea gary might want to rethink that
NIGGAS IS CRAAAAAAZY.
I think Gary Sheffield has a great point. Latinos are easy to control… look at all those Mexicans that we tell to stay on their side of the border.
Wow. If I'm a Latin pitcher, I think Sheff is gonna get the ole' 96'er (and by that I mean a 96 mph fastball) in the back. Who's with me? Armando Benitez? Esteban Yan? Jorge Julio?
HHY, the back? Me thinks the cabeza. (That's Spanish for head isn't it? I wasn't paying attention in class.)
289? Nicve choice with the Brewers-era Jeri Curl. That hair is so easy to control.
Remember that time that Sheffield broke is foot, and then when he came off the DL the Brewers moved him from SS to third… making Paul Molitor the DH? And then Sheff ended up calling the Brewers organization "racist" and forcing a trade? And since Molitor was now "only a DH" the team did not re-sign him? And then they sucked for the next 15 years? Yeah, that was awesome.
Screw you, Sheffield.
True story, my ex-girlfriend was at a bar in Tampa sometime last week and she turned around and bumped into a guy and spilled her red foo-foo drink on his "pimp white" shoes. That man? Gar-mother-fucking-Sheffield. He told her to get the fuck out of his way and used the age old adage: "You know who the fuck I am?" She didn't. He's my hero.
If we got Sheffield to take an English test, do you think he'd pass?
Grimey…don't forget all that effective birth control in the Latino community…
I was at a Giants-Dodgers game a few years back, w/ seats right behind the Dodgers dugout. The Giants were getting pounded…and I was pretty drunk so, in the 8th w/ Shef in the hole and standing on the on top step of the dugout, I started yelling "Hey Gary, what happened to your gold teeth?" over and over until he turned around and shot me a nasty look. When he finally got up he ripped a 3-run blast to left, came back to the dugout and pointed right at me. Dude's fuckin' scary.
289 is that a pre-op photo of A-Rod's stripper girl you used there?
"but in the end, he is going to go back to being who he is."
So by Sheff's definition, Manny Ramirez the blackest player in baseball.
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