Some news and notes from the baseball diamond:
♦ Julian Tavarez has unorthodox cures: "Tavarez has been making his last few starts with a torn blister at the tip of his right middle finger, which he has been successfully self-treating in a unique way. He said that he dealt with the problem by: 1) popping the blister, 2) repeatedly swabbing it with rubbing alcohol, 3) crushing aspirin, mixing it with Red Bull energy drink and rubbing it on the wound. The process has dried and hardened the broken skin." Red Bull as topical ointment? That's gotta be more dangerous than BenGay.
♦ Ichiro is honest: "The Mariners were clearly not thrilled with the detour before opening a three-game series against the Chicago Cubs on Tuesday. 'To tell the truth, I’m not excited to go to Cleveland, but we have to,' Ichiro said through an interpreter. 'If I ever saw myself saying I’m excited going to Cleveland, I’d punch myself in the face, because I’m lying.'" This is now my favorite athlete quote of all time.
♦ A-Rod likes she-males: Not a new story, but I feel like it's worth mentioning again.
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Ichiro is my new hero.
I'd just like to thank Cleveland for making Buffalo look good.
i'd punch myself in the dick if i had to travel to cleveland more than once in a life time.
but hey he gets paid millions so he can suffer through
The Cuyahoga County Chamber of Commerce just lit themselves on fire.
I wish I was Ichiro's interpreter (except for the whole understanding Japanese part I think I'd be great). I mean seriously, this guy must wake up every day and WANT to go to work. Plus, if he ever started drinking on the job and randomly making stuff up, no one would notice.
and the best part about the ichiro quote is, he wont catch any shit for it. had arod or curt schilling said something like that, the media would be all over it
a-rod can like all the she-males he wants if he wins a ring with the yankees.
Not only do I think it's funny that he detests Cleveland, he also punches liars in the face. Would he turn into Dalton from Road House if he got traded to the Yankees?
Hey Ich, you'd have to go to The Cleve one less time if your manager wasn't a douche.
My wife asked me yesterday who my favorite baseball player was. I said Ichiro. After seeing that quote, I know my answer was justified.
1) popping the blister, 2) repeatedly swabbing it with rubbing alcohol, 3) crushing aspirin, mixing it with Red Bull energy drink and rubbing it on the wound.
also cures genital herpes.
Ichiro should be glad there isn't a team in Columbus. That'd require a lot more than a punch in the face.
The Yankees will catch the Red Sox. (Whack!) Ichiro just Punched me in the face.
I love the fact that Ichiro throw's that comment out knowing everybody feels that way, but can he learn the fucking language and say it himself? Any major league sport star that can't talk for himself after 2 or 3 seasons should get the fuck out and go back to their homeland. ENGLISH MUTHERFUCKER!!!! DO YOU SPEAK IT!!!
I love the fact that Ichiro throw's that comment out
ENGLISH MUTHERFUCKER!!!! DO YOU SPEAK IT!!!
The irony is delicious.
^^so is the ironing
He made no mention about being able to write it.
wow… such a Berserker moment. "This is Olaf, he's from Russia…" "does he speak English?" "yeah, but he can't speak it good like we do."
Ichiro just made my day
Now Tavarez needs to find a cure for his jagged, mountain-like face.
Liz Lemon totally disagrees with Ichiro.
Moises Alou laughs at Tavarez's method of toughening skin. The rest of us just think Alou smells like urine.
"The process has dried and hardened the broken skin."
That explains how he is able to deal with heckling from Yankee fans.
Wow, Cleveland was just IchirOWND!
Yeah, I know that was bad and I apologize…