Well, this is surprising. I can hardly believe I'm writing about A-Rod after a Red Sox-Yankees series. But the $25 million slugger proved his worth last night, hitting his 20th home run of the season with two outs in the ninth to give the Yankees a 6-5 win. His secret? Tipping the bouncer $50 before he goes into the champagne room.
Actually, yesterday was a good day for drama throughout the major leagues. Shane Victorino capped his own bobblehead day (yep, the one of him in a hula skirt) by hitting a walk-off homer to give the Phillies a 9-8 victory over the Giants. Ryan Howard added a three-run blast for the Phils, and Barry Bonds did fucking nothing. (Seriously, he didn't play.) And in Anaheim, Vladimir Guerrero hit a ninth-inning, two-run shot that erased Baltimore's lead and lifted the Angels a 4-3 win.
It feels very good, especially knowing what our guys did on the mound, to be able to pick them up," Guerrero said through a translator.
A translator? Vlad has 350 career homers now — maybe it's time to learn the language, comrade. Lousy loose immigration policies. We need bigger walls AND an English test. And that English test should be expanded to natural-born citizens, as well. Anyone who fucks up your/you're should be deported. Into space.
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Anyone who fucks up your/you're should be deported. Into space.
Don't forget about people that say "irregardless".
Wait, was it blondes with beer guts or muscles?A-Rod is not distracted.
Personally, I think the language test should be fazed out.
Hilary Clinton says if English was the official language of the USA Vlad wouldn't even be allowed a translator
As far as Vlad goes, it is a bigger travesty for Ozzie Guillen. Ozzie has been in the US for over 30 years now and has yet to mutter a full sentence in English.
"Jay Mariotti is a fucking fag" is not a full sentence in English?
The correct way to say "irregardless" is "unregardlessly."
Can we build a special door in the wall that lets the brazilian women through? I think we could empoy a eugenics test intead of a writing test to weed out those not qualified (read: fat). It's the American way.
Who needs a test for Brazilians? Just put a scale at the border.
Anyone who fucks up your/you're should be deported. Into space.
Best. Quote. Ever. Matt Ufford, you have just won the Lifetime Achievement Award for Heroic Statements.
My favorite hooker is Brazilian and she doesn't speak a word of English. We communicate solely through improvised sexual hand gestures.
Me fail English? That's unpossible.
Only thing worse than your/you're is their/there
YOU'RE stealing lines from my book, Ufford. I like it though.
Dude, Vlada lives in California. In some places, english is the second language.
Actually, Ive listened to the hiphop channel: english is the second language there too.
Bill Lee used to talk about one of his latino teammates who was a precursor to Sammy Sosa's "Sometimes I understand, sometimes I dont" language classes. The guy used to finish the NY Times crosswords without breaking stride but never gave more than a Yes or No answer to the media.
No long winded interviews, no reporters trying to become your friend, no small talk when meeting teams sponsors or on team events…. tell my why a player who is insulated in a bubble like that would want to venture out?
Actually, what he said is "I am hispanic and I'm being controlled by my translator".