
You may remember that a month ago Tony Parker had to back out of a charity basketball game with Dikembe Mutombo that would have supported a hospital in the Congo, leading to the game's cancellation and, I can only assume, the continuing suffering of the African people. Why did Parker cancel the game? His fiancee, Desperate Housewives star the Chupacabra, made him do it because it got in the way of their honeymoon.
Naturally, today we get news that the Longorias' impending honeymoon has been put on hold. So Parker can play the charity game and save African children? Nope: because the Chupacabra said so.
The couple will wed in Paris, France on 7 July, but their honeymoon has to wait until after Longoria has honoured her TV commitments. She says, "I'm heading home right after the wedding. We start shooting on 9 July."
Oh yeah, and she's telling the media that they're going to adopt children, probably because it's impossible to give birth without taking those pants off.
UPDATE: I realized after the fact that WWTDD calls Nicole Richie "the Chupacabra." It's a coincidence: I was just looking for the name of a Mexican demon, and "Eva Longoria" was already taken.


In other news, Longoria was seen looting and burning cars in Parkers drive way. Parker did nothing.
I don’t know what to make of this whole Parker-Longoria (sorry, Longoria-Parker) debacle. Is it the basis for a planned reality show? A scientific experiment testing the lack of testosterone in French males? Or is this just belated payback for Napoleon III’s invasion of Mexico in 1862?
Or, and I’m just tossing this out there, is Eva a screaming bitch you needs to “accidentally” hit herself repeatedly with a cell phone?
In Parker’s defense, couldn’t Mutombo pick a replacement star off the “not a douche” list? Africa’s children would appreciate it.
Etymology lesson: Man
::Apologies::
Etymology lesson: Man
::This sucks::
Etymology lesson:
Man – Mensch
Homme – Homo
Ergo, Tony Parker was never a man to begin with.
Also, ‘Mann’ is German, and we all know what the Germans did to the mighty French. ‘Homo’ is Latin, and from clips of Italians fake-kicking each other in pansy-ass pretend soccer fights, I think my case can rest.
She’s not worth the hassle, there are plenty of hotter women out there that he could easily get considering his wealth and status.
Eva is the Duke of Hot Brunettes. OVER-RATED!
Its the Bob, thats a very solid analogy. Also, she’s like Duke in that she is very easy to hate. I have to say tho, her bent over in those fishnets aint too shabby.
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It looks more like Chris Henry to me.
Yeah but Parker has to deal with the Longoria outside of magazines. Someone should just tell him he can masterbate to the fake- good looking- her just like the rest of us and NOT have to put up with her shit (or hideousness). Someone should also tell him that flopping doesn’t fly in American sports.
Eva Longoria is a Mexican Hammer Drill – a powerful tool that a frenchman like Parker has no idea how to use.
Parker is an easily replaceable basketball player at a charity game, while Longoria is under contract with ABC. I can kind of see why she had to switch the date.
And no, I’m not under the spell of those gorgeous eyes and that tight little body.
Mexicans; the only people that think defeating the french is worthy of celebrating.
Dumb question… Don’t you have to like live in Mexico to be Mexican? Or is it like Taco Bell kinda mexican.
And, I’d still wreck that.
someone needs to slap some sense into Tony Parker. For God sakes, he’s a NBA player and get tail just for existing.
This has the feel of Andre Rison/Left Eye all over again…I’m looking forward to it.
I think we’ve all been there. Your friends are telling you to dump the girl and you know they’re right. You get yourself all psyched up to cut her loose, then you go over to her place and she’s spent an hour on her makeup and is just wearing a bra and a thong that shows off that tremendous ass; and before you know it, you’re making wedding plans and killing Congolese refugees.
Hugh B. Brown, they already made that show. It was called the Christies and I think Parker watches it a lot.
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