A man staying in the same hotel as the San Antonio Spurs apparently jumped to his death (third item):
Some Spurs officials had an unsettling afternoon when they returned to their team hotel to discover a man had apparently committed suicide by jumping from one of the building's upper floors. Many of the players didn't know about the incident until they boarded the team bus later in the day to go to the arena.
Yeah. "Many" of the players didn't know. Like all the players besides Bruce Bowen and whoever Bowen bragged to about it. Probably Robert Horry. Listen, I'm not saying Bruce Bowen definitely committed a murder; I just think the police should look into it a little bit. Maybe take him in for questioning. And by questioning I mean "brutal beating with night sticks until he's a vegetable." Honestly, though, I'm sure it was a suicide. If I were in Utah AND staying in the same building as the Spurs, I'd kill myself too. I can't say for sure that death is less boring than the Spurs in Utah, but I'd be willing to take that chance. (Although why the Spurs were vacationing together in Utah remains a mystery, because we all know the NBA season is over.)
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they returned to their team hotel to discover a man had apparently committed suicide by jumping from one of the building’s upper floors…
and landing on Bruce Bowen’s foot.
Here’s a helpful tip: Do not practice your Manu Ginobili impersonation on the side of a building.
This story is boring simply because it involves the Spurs.
When Carlos Boozer and Deron Williams went to check out the commotion, David Stern suspended them for 1 game for leaving their hotel rooms.
N-B-A? (Along with Ufford, I believe the season is over).
Sounds like somebody accidentally failed to avert their gaze from any direct contact with Popovich’s face.
I wonder which commenter is going to wag their finger at all of us for making jokes about someone committing suicide?
Because whoever it is, I hope Ufford tears him/her a new one.
The man was Tony Parker, and this story is brought to you from the future by Chevrolet–An American Revolution.
its wrong and its creepy. it’s an nba team. leave them alone . how would “with leather” feel if that was their team? or daughter?
Kirilenko really is a crybaby schoolboy bitch.
Suicide=Hilarity
Making jokes at the expense of a man’s death? Pathetic. Imagine if you were one of that man’s children? Or wives?
Worst. Flop. EVAR
Fuck nevermind I’m too late.
+1 Grimey and Rob.
Considering it was in Utah it’s kinda hard for Boozer and Williams to leave their hotel room to check the commotion. Unless they were staying the night together. Though either way I wouldn’t be surprised they got suspended. On a personel note I’d definetly kill myself for simply being in Utah, the world’s whitest and most boring state.
Y’see, you’re going about this all wrong. Anytime you see the word “spurs” you have to think of Scarlett Jo in a pair of spurs. And anytime you see the word “Bowen” you think of Bowen Reaction Series which explains why some minerals are often found together while others are almost never associated with each other.
SCIENCE!
I’d jump out the window too if the room next to me had the Tony Parker CD on repeat!
It’s quite clear this guy “accidentally” saw Eva in the morning without makeup on.
… and by “accidentally” I mean “stalking”
Hail has officially won the game of life today.
Congratulations my friend. Mission accomplished.
>I can’t say for sure that death is less boring than the Spurs in Utah, but I’d be willing to take that chance.<
That will make for a great tombstone.
Now, Im usually too lazy to do a Brokeback/Spurs gay joke but throw in Utah with its freaky magic underwear cult involved and why do I keep having the mental image of John Amaechi Pulp Fictioning Jerry Sloan’s ass? Oh yeah, because that’s how it feels watching this damned series!!!
Thank god for the other exciting ser…never mind… when is this WNBA on again?