THE NBA PLAYOFFS ARE OVER
05.21.07
Sexy friends, we are gathered here today to mourn the passing of a loved one taken from us far too early, robbed of life by a conniving, evil, angry little man. Not only did sports fans not get the e-ticket of Suns-Warriors because the NBA doesn't do round-by-round re-seedings, but — as we all know by now — the NBA's fuehrer also ensured victory for the Spurs by following the letter, rather than the spirit, of the law. History is riddled with damned men who have ignored the just decision in favor of an unjust law, and all we can do as fans is turn our backs on the farce that plays on.
Rest in peace, 2007 NBA Playoffs. I will remember you for Warriors-Mavs, the lackluster Eastern Conference, and the historic death-rape of the Suns.
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That sure looks like Arlington National.
There are no Jews in the military.
Fantastic pic 289. Guess we’ll have to turn to Planet Unicorn and the NHL to satiate our entertainment needs.
Optimus Prime? YOU’RE Jewish???
Worst. Playoffs. Ever. Three of the four teams comprise my least favorite in the league, with the exception of the Knicks and the Celtics, who are too ridiculous to even count.
Which means I’m rooting for Cleveland? Really?
I can watch Deron and Manu all day.
You want the death of the NBA playoffs? Pull for a Utah-Cleveland Finals. If that doesn’t kill the next TV contract, nothing will.
I’m looking forward to the Cavs/Pistons series…some serious hatred there. Scot Pollard = ratings.
Scot Pollard still plays?
289: Can you add a tombstone for our dignity as a city?
it died in 1991.
Awesome, awesome, awesome picture, especially the gravestone for Simmons’ writing. Although his column on the Stoudamire suspension was pretty good. But 1 good one doesn’t make up for the previous 100 horrid ones.
i blame the jews for all the world’s ills.
It will be Pistons/Spurs. Mark my words. And it will be boring beyond belief. And it will last 7 days. And when all the boredom of the world has been spent, Tim Duncan will be made MVP of the NBA finals. And then there will be no rejoicing, for Tim Duncan knows not of these pleasures.
*7 games. Thanks to my typo, my artwork of a post has been ruined. God. Damn. It.
Wouldn’t Simmons’ writing have to be alive(aka readable) at some point in order for it to be dead?
I guess i’m the only Spurs/Pistons apologist around here, but i’m telling you it will be a great series. I liked the last one and i think this will be even better. Both teams are known for their defense, but with all the rule changes to open the game up, the maturation of Tony Parker and the Pistons adding Chris Webber; i really think it will be an epic series. Whenever the Suns get their heads out of their ass and realize they need a defensive presence in the middle and put Amare at his natural position as power forward, then we’ll see them get to the final.
Calling Stern “Fuerher”–so wrong and yet so right. Although I get more of an Idi Amin vibe–the Last Commissioner of Scotland.