With the NBA playoffs over, basketball fans turned their eyes to last night's draft lottery, which is unnecessarily televised every year. As you've certainly heard by now, the Portland Trail Blazers get their choice of Greg Oden or Kevin Durant, while the embattled Sonics of the Emerald City got the second pick — forcing experts to wonder whether Oden/Durant can save hoops in Seattle, whether Portland will take Oden or Durant (Definitely Oden! Definitely Durant!), and whether or not this milk is still good. Like, the carton says it doesn't expire until tomorrow, but it already smells funny, you know?
Oh yeah, and if you watched the lottery you saw the clown in the #20 Celtics jersey with "Oden" on the back. The Celtics will pick fifth, which means that there is a God, and he didn't like Bill Simmons's idea of karma, either.
Full lottery results after the jump.
1. Portland Trail Blazers
2. Seattle Sonics
3. Atlanta Hawks (sorry, Phoenix)
4. Memphis Grizzlies
5. Boston Celtics (HAW-ha!)
6. Milwaukee Bucks
7. Minnesota Timberwolves
8. Charlotte Bobcats
9. Chicago Bulls (from Knicks — thanks, Isiah!)
10. Sacaramento Kings
11. Atlanta Hawks (from Indiana)
12. Philadelphia 76ers
13. New Orleans Hornets
14. L.A. Clippers
Oh yeah, you should peep Peter Schrager's experience at the draft. He's a good man. And thorough.
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Why doesn’t basketball just do what the rest of the country’s popular sports do, award the picks based on actual suckitude, not on some lame ass lottery where those with the most suckitude still only have a 30% shot of getting a good pick… might actually make basketball fun to play
amen to that, brotha! I like reading Simmons’s stuff, but i’m tired of all the crying about his poor Celtics. Boo Hoo they’ve won 16 titles and are the most successful franchise in history. This is just balancing the scales, although i was really hoping Phoenix would score a top draft pick from Atlanta because of all teams who deserve two picks in the the top 11, its Atlanta. They don’t deserve any of the teams they have.
Nothing and I mean nothing is more satisfying than the continual disappointment of Simmons and the Massholes.
They had a less than 40% chance of getting a top 2 pick but they all thought, by birthright it’d be theres.
Think again, jackasses.
let this be a lesson – do NOT fuck with David Stern.
Attempt to tank? (Memphis, Boston) You will get screwed.
Threaten Mr. Stern’s decision-making? (Phoenix-Game 6) You will get nothing and like it.
Karma is a bitch. Memphis and Boston got what they deserved. I hope The Sports Guy kills himself. I am sick of his whining.
There is no Stern conspiracy, although I do like it when people say there is, it’s fun.
How about that Adam Silver guy who did the announcing duties??? Was he a perfect stereotype of a Jew or what?
And on the 5th day, God gave Boston ‘The Finger’.
And the world rejoiced.
The concept of “proected” first round draft picks is retarded. If a team deals away their pick, thats it, it’s done. If said team still had a shitty season and ends up picking top three, sucks to be them even more.
Yes this is exactly what Mr Stern wanted, the two biggest stars of this draft and franchise players to go to the pacific northwest where they will be watched by a total of 12 people.
The Pacific Northwest is closer to China, no?
seriously. fuck boston. they get what they deserve, and to add fuel to the fire they still have Rivers and Ainge running them into the ground. any more collective bad luck and they wont win another championship in this century. i also love the fact that the bulls have perpetually ass raped the knicks on the eddie curry deal.
the only way this situation gets better is if the celtics fire ainge and hire isiah away from nyc.
So is Oden going to the Northwest like “Harry and Hendersons” in real life?
Well one thing is for certain the number of african americans in the pacific northwest will now increase to 21, YAY!
They HAVE basketball here in Boston still? I thought they closed down when they ripped the garden down…..
/me goes back to watching the sox.
Eh this bitterness against the Celtics is a bit much, you try being a 24 year old Celtic fan who doesn’t remember the Bird days, and has to watch the incompetency of Ainge and Doc Rivers continually maul the team with their horrible coaching and trades. Laugh at how bad we suck surely, but I don’t particularly feel as if we deserve it.
Simonsports – I think I speak for all of us when I say that you do, in fact, deserve it. Trust me on this one.
Simonon – Take it from a slightly older fan – you deserve it.
To understand exactly why, read a few of those horrific Larry Legend columns by Bill Simmons. Multiply the resulting annoyance times a couple hundred thousand smug assholes. Cover with Celtic Pride bumperstickers.
‘Suck it Boston’ is an all time tag. GrungeDave said it right–the two teams that tanked the most, Boston and Memphis, got royally fucked last night. Good. I can’t wait to watch Yianjian Li or whatever his name is put up 9-4 games next year in the Fleet Center.
Simon, I feel I’m still paying for Otto Graham and Jim Brown. I hope your wait is just as long.
I probably coulda done that with a private message. Sorry!
Viva La With Leather Up! All Night.
Simonsports — so that means the 2004 Red Sox didn’t mean as much to you, right? Seeing you weren’t around for most of the bad times, and all.
What a minute, what’s all this talk about both top picks heading up the to northwest? I thought my Sonics were headed to Oklahoma or Vegas…
But this is just a great middle finger to not only Boston, but the entire east coast. If Boston had scored the first pick, Sportscenter would be broadcasting 23 1/2 hours about who they should pick and why. But since it’s two west coast teams (even northwest where apparently I’m the only one living here), ESPN won’t care about it. F’ing East Coast bias…
Sorry for the double post:
Headed over to ESPN.com (and the big picture is on the NFL, like always) while the question is about the draft structure of the draft:
Weighted Lottery (what it is now) – Blue
Equal chance Lottery – Red
Draft order by Record (no Lottery) – Green
Gee, surprise, surprise – [farm1.static.flickr.com]
Considering I’m not a Red Sox fan, nope in fact that 2004 Red Sox World Series sucked royally, as did every single Patriot Superbowl when they destroyed my Jets year after year.
Hooray for Seattle, and, um…….oh yeah, Seattle Junior!!! Since the NBA has made the effort to put teams out here, the least Stern and Co. can do is send good players out here. I’m sure Greg Oden will enjoy his return to Oregon, since he last accompanied Lewis and Clark on their voyage.
Oh yeah, those who make fun of the Pacific Northwest either:
(a.) Have never been here, and make fun of any place more than 10 miles away from the Bronx, or (b.) Have been here, and are extremely jealous of those of us who get to live here, while they return to their shitty part of the country. Which one are you?
You forgot one key element Robby, the only people who still go to ESPN for their sports news live/lived in Boston.
As one who proudly puts the asshole in Masshole, I agree that Boston in no way deserved the pick. Also, they shouldn’t have to depend on a few ping pong balls to ever have any hope at success again. What I wouldn’t give for some semblance of competence in Celtics mgmt. That being said, we’re doin alright in the only two sports anyone really cares about, baseball & football, thank you very much.
Anything bad for Boston is good for me. I kind of feel for Memphis though, but why is there a franchise there anyway?
Mass is ashamed enough, leave us alone. i dont wanna hear about our shitty basketballing squad.
the sox will win enough games for both them and the celtics anyway.
Celtics AND the Jets. Damn, son, do you root for the coyote in roadrunner cartoons? You need a trip back to 1969, or a hug or a role model or something.
Two more weapons in the Pacific arsenal. Remember when the NBA had an Eastern Conference? Me neither.
No… man. He hit me here *points to jaw*