05.31.07 THE HUMANITARIAN BOWL JUST GOT BIGGER

289- its like The Hitcher meets Friday Night Lights! You sir, are a genius!

Should be an entertaining game… what with all the all the speed and meth putting everyone in a psychotic rage. Maybe instead of using the backup QB or a headset to call in the plays they should use CB radios! 

They can have Burt Reynolds do the anthem, then at halftime Sly Stallone will roll in with his big rig and do some arm wrestling competitions. Solid!

They can deliver plays via CB, which will also come in handy if a "bear trap" looms on the way to the stadium.  Lotta 10-52s comin' out of those pregnant roller skates, over.  

Damn you, Punch Rockgroin.  Damn you.  Over.

Hey 289, why did you make the wide receiver so tubby? 

When I think "humanitarians" I think truck stops. The hand jobs and the meth clearly parlays into a discussion about conquering debt in third world countries. I'm surprised Angelina Jolie isn't involed. 

Over the Top reference?  Tip of the cap to you good sir

The starting RBs better have a knack for finding the glory hole.

"Hey kids, I know you gotta pee, where do you wanna stop? Let's see…there's a Wendy's up ahead, a McDonald's…hey, a Roady's! Remember that exciting bowl game we watched between Iowa State and Ohio University in December? No? Well, too fucking bad, it was a hell of a game and Roady's has earned my trust and patronage. Well done, Roady's. Fantastic marketing plan those folks have. OK, go pee, but don't look anyone in the eye, cover up extra at the urinal and stay the fuck away from that hole in the bathroom."

Ohio and Indiana, still worthless.

Fuck U.S. Cellular.

Will they sell cock rings and $.75 cologne singles in the bathrooms?

Scott Moscrip is my new hero - "… said he has never been to a Boise State football game, and admits - he doesn't like crowds."

Football? What the hell is that? I was just lookin' fer a place to park some trucks!

When you get to the stadium, tell 'em Large Marge sent ya!

You just have to figure anything out of Idaho just isn't going to end well…..double that when adding the words truck stop…….

Shit, I this is worse then the "Hawaii" Bowl…at least that is in warm weather…..but yet. still a joke….

Want more reasons to mock Idaho?  The name 'Idaho' was made up.  How embarrassing.

http://www.museumofhoaxes.com/hoax/weblog/permalink/did_idaho_get_its_name_as_a_result_of_a_hoax/ 

@289

I live in Indianapolis and can vouch for Indiana's nothingness. But Illinois is ten times worse. I swear to god, if it werent for Chicago, the entire state would be boring and useless. Has anyone ever driven through Illinois, Jesus Christ, I was so bored I wanted to slit my wrists to watch the blood because that is infinintely more exciting then driving on Illinois highways. Nothingness as far as the eye can see. Plain, flat, its where color comes to die.

cmon mcsheisty. dont act like youre not in love with kanakee.

I'd a ho.

Idaho's actually not that bad.  If you can ignore the mormons, the utah envy and the wacko militia types.  Ahh…nevermind.   

Slow news day, huh Matt?

The trucker CB code list consists of:

• (10-33) Actual bear in air.
• (10-34) Can't unchain wallet.
• (10-35) Hot enough for ya?
• (10-36) Ghost truck on highway.
• (10-37) Ask me about my grandchildren.
• (10-38) Outsider blabbing about auto-drive system.
• (10-39) I love you gay buddy.
• (10-40) Taxes due.

That turf is not blue.  C'mon, 289, make it happen.

It cannot be denied, though, that the "Lumberjack/Trucker/Fatman Special" breakfast with it's 4 pancakes, sausage, eggs & homefries isn't the best meal you've ever had when you're loaded at 3:00am.

What's that you say?  Not all of you went to college in the middle of no damned where with the truck stop being the only thing open after 11:00pm?  Well, trust me - best damned meal ever.

@mcsheisty:

Sir, as a supplanted Central Illinoisian, I ask: Does Peoria not do anything for you?

 Also Matt, I'm fairly certain this alledged Truck Stop Bowl takes place along the side of I-80, about thirty miles past Davenport, Iowa.