Awwww yeah! You feel that, Canadia? That's a big ol' American boot up your icy ass. The Ducks beat the Senators 1-0 last night to take a 2-0 series lead in the Stanley Cup finals, further cementing the American ideals of giving sports teams to overgrown suburbs, framing them around a movie franchise, then having them kick the Canadian capital's ass in the country's preferred sport. Take that, Molson-breath! U-S-A! U-S-A!
Uhhh… that's pretty much everything I know about hockey. Some guy named Samuel Pahlsson (Chant with me: "His name is Samuel Pahlsson") scored the deciding goal late in the game, and Ducks captain Scott Niedermayer had some quotes about taking care of home ice, and how he made the Senators do twenty push-ups for wearing a pledge pins on their sweaters. They're all worthless and weak!
![[avatar]](http://p.uproxxcdn.com/photo/226/thumb)
![[image]](http://cdn.wl.uproxx.com/wp-content/thumbnails/130/110/2013/05/Broken-Leafs-TV-180x180.jpg)
![[image]](http://cdn.wl.uproxx.com/wp-content/thumbnails/130/110/2013/05/ottawa-senators-pesky-back-180x180.png)
![[image]](http://cdn.wl.uproxx.com/wp-content/thumbnails/130/110/2013/05/jimmy-fallon-nhl-awards-180x180.png)
![[image]](http://cdn.wl.uproxx.com/wp-content/thumbnails/130/110/2013/05/James-Reimers-Wife-180x180.jpg)
I've got to say, that short post made me laugh multiple times. The pledge pins especially got me.
Fat, drunk and stupid is no way to go through life, son.
What do you want to do with your life?
I wanna play hockey!
Enter Dee Snyder and Barry Melorse
that "american might" must come from the 10 Canadians (out of 17 overall players) that the Ducks have on their roster i assume. Silly americans. You're weak like your beer :)
Whoops…. i'm a wee bit of a fool….
18 of 27 players are Canadian. The Ducks dont play with the smallest roster in NHL history
Fucking hockey, you're supposed to be dead to me. But nooo, you have to play games that are more exciting than the NBA has produced in 10 years.
Merk: those must be the 18 smartest Canadians in the world. Fucking turncoats.
ah 289….I could love you yet…..give hockey a chance….there is blood, speed and time in the Sin Bin….what more could you want????
Yes, why yes, you are a fool…..once you play for an American team we have *manifest destiny* (or some such shit) to claim them all as Americans. Really…..look it up.
I wonder if Emilio will make an appearance at the Cup presentation.
289 I can't believe what I am hearing. E tu fellow Sabres fan?
This hockey shit is killing me …
I swear the quandaries we find ourselves in, sometimes.
As a Maple Leafs fan, I want Ottawa to go down faster than an ex-girlfriend on whomever she's fucking of the moment. As a Red Wings fan, I want Chris Pronger to be perpetually concussed, and don't want him to sully Lord Stanley's Hardware by laying his grubby paws on it.
I guess my zeal against the Senators is stronger. I don't want Daniel "Hey I look like a clown" Alfredsson, or Dany "I'm a murderer" Heatley to ever touch that precious Cup in my lifetime.
Fuck 'em up Ducks!
Man, I can't wait to hear about all the depraved things Gordon Bombay and the Ducks are going to do to the Stanley Cup once they get ahold of it. USA! USA! indeed.
Yes I'm Sabres fan, I was only talking in terms of this years playoffs. As long as those pricks from Ottawa don't hoist the cup I'll be fine.
I am with you Canuck (although as a Oiler's fan…I need to say no more about Pronger) however my extreme distaste for Ray "Ass Hat" Emery has pushed me over to the fucking Disney side…..what the hell is this world coming to?
Manifest Destiny? The swedes aren't gonna be happy about you taking Teemu from then. Watch out for that uprising.
Matt if that were true then you'd be calling 75% of the NHL the smartest Canadians in the world. Hate to say it, but the boys aren't known for being overly bright. (for the most part)
I don't get why the Ducks don't bust out the flying V at some point during a game. They'd be unstoppable!
Teemu's a fellow Finn.
i'm gonna stop now.
So you're telling me that this internet thing extends all the way up to Canada? Fuckin' Al Gore, man….he's alright.
it's offical….289…..i love you
….merk…good call…..just stop…it is only downhill for you from here….
Careless- they'll bust out the flying V, don't you worry. Team Captain Charlie just needs to get his act together.
UES007- Of course the internet doesn't extend all the way up to Canada. PAVED ROADS don't even extend all the way up there!
I really hope you have a vagina.
Merk forgot to turn on the sarcasm detector today.
The only way Jason Spezza could have a worse week is if he walks into a room expecting a tryst and Chris Hansen is there to meet him.
last I checked (which was moments ago since I just got out of the shower) i had a vagina…..and tits….yup……pretty sure I am female…..
SWEET! SCORE!
Disney sold the Ducks to some locals in 2005. No more Flying 'V', no more Oreo line, no more taping the goalie to the net. I think all of us died a little that day.
matt… c'mon… please know that I dont take anything on these boards seriously. I dont really need the sarcasm detector cuz i assume that pretty much everything said on here is sarcasm or a joke of some sorts.
289… nice score on the vagina and tits. That's a helluva combination. so i've heard. from a friend. (my computer) you're so lucky
If you put the emphasis on the second syllable, 'hockey' sounds like a cool American Indian name.
"The pain will not leave my heart, Hah-Kee. We must deal with the white man on his own terms."
"That, Chief Ottawa, is something I cannot do. Hah-Kee is a free man. I would rather die than taste the slavery of his poison culture."
Jeez, that was kind of fun, but now I'm a little depressed. I think I should go camping this weekend.
"American MIght"?
really ……… is there even 2 american born players on that Team?
I dare you to try and name them! The Ahaheim Ducks are more Canadian that Poutine.
quack……..quack…….quack…quack…quack..quack..quack.quack.quackquackquackquaquaquaqua……sorry i had to
Shannon, Carter, Marchant, MIller, Motzko, Parros……..
Diggs, learn to spell and get over it. I think the quote was That's a big ol' American boot up your icy ass.
I see, you may be correct!
Do any of them even see the ice? Doubtful.
Yes, they all see ice time. But clearly you aren't a fan of the sport, nor do you know jack shit about it since you are letting a fucking female school you on the basics.
Sorry Matt, clearly I need more coffee and sex because I am in a bit of a testy mood.
Warm-up does not count for Ice time!!!
Its not my fault if i don't know jack shit… I'm from Fargo.
american oil, marry me
(wow this place IS turning into deadspin)
awwww Jimmy……how sweet!!! Although it depends…..I have a few requirements…..
1) Extensive amounts of Whiskey, Scotch and assorted booze.
2) Willingness to watch sports and heckle the players at all times.
3) Not mind that I have the mouth of a sailor and know where all the good porn is(seriously, I am innocent…it is my clients at work that send it to me….reaaaalllly)
So what are the negatives?
So here are the facts if anyone cares:
The Anaheim Ducks complete roster has 22 Canadians, 9 Americans, 3 Europeans and one Russian. On their active playing roster there are 16 canadians, 4 americans, 2 europeans and 1 russian. That, sir, is evidence enough that Canadian might prevails again! Enjoy the series everyone!
So here are the facts if anyone cares:
The Anaheim Ducks complete roster has 22 Canadians, 9 Americans, 3 Europeans and one Russian. On their active playing roster there are 16 canadians, 4 americans, 2 europeans and 1 russian. That, sir, is evidence enough that Canadian might prevails again! Enjoy the series everyone!
I guess none if you are the type of guy to be willing to put up with that.
wait…I live in the Seattle area……yeah…that's right…..
eww gross, i knew there had to be something the matter.
…see there is always a hitch…..
….fuck….god damn seattle…..
All of you are on notice. The general lack of hilarity and constant refusal to use the private messaging system has been noted. And Diggs is damn close to getting banned for taking things seriously.
HOC-KEY?