05.08.07 POLE VAULTING IS SEXY, BARELY LEGAL
Long-time reader Jim — who may or may not have killed a man in prison — alerted me this morning to an Internet sensation that's building a frightening head of steam: meet pole vaulter Allison Stokke (pronounced "stow-key," I believe). Hubba hubba and other grunting sounds.
Why is this particular head of steam frightening, you ask? Well, as best as I can tell from my rudimentary Internet sleuthing, Allison turned 18 less than two months ago, and she's still a senior at Newport Harbor, which last time I checked — and I check often — is a high school. Writing these kinds of posts are precisely why I keep getting mysterious, threatening voicemails from someone that sounds like Chris Hansen. "I'll get you, Ufford!" "You disgust me, sicko!" "Seriously, put some pants on." Et cetera and so on.
Oh, and there's also this: Miss Stokke is one of the best young pole vaulters in the country. She set the U.S. record for a freshman girl at 12'8", and her present personal best is a couple inches off the best high school girls mark. So, that's why I'm honoring her with a post. Because she's an exceptional athlete. Yes.
Oh, and if this YouTube interview is any indication, she takes pole vaulting so seriously that she's unable to detect sarcasm. Which is too bad, because missing sarcastic remarks ends our steamy, illicit romance before it's even begun. That, and the age difference. And the restraining order.
UPDATE: Please go HERE for more pics and some insight into this phenomenon.
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There are 78 comments about:
POLE VAULTING IS SEXY, BARELY LEGAL
Thank. You.
Can she clear 9″?
Also, the left side of her mouth doesn’t move as much as the right side when she talks. That’s a deal breaker. God, try as I might I couldn’t type that with a straight face.
No? How about 2″?
impressive. most impressive.
Is it me or does she just look like a typical non-sex kitten high school girl in those other thumbnails but the lead picture makes her look like I need to introduce her to my locked basement for several months?
I am old.
I believe this post meets the legal definition of entrapment.
What the hell is up with her right hand in the first picture
It’s rolled underneath, proper form.
I am right there with you HHY but I am just hoping girls like her are drawn to older men who have no appreciable income.
Here is my question, if those pictures are of her last year or even two years ago, aren’t we basically looking at pictures of a 16 year old? Kind of creepy.
I don’t give a damn if she is an “athlete” or not. If she is 18, hot, and wears a uniform that damn tight…she’s worthy of a post!
Where’s the “jailbait” tag?
For an 18 year old, she really knows how to handle a pole.
Remember when we were kids? We used to play “jailbait tag” for hours.
The way girls are developing is almost sinister. Good luck to her and lets hope she continues so we can see more of her.
That’s what I love about these high school girls, man. I get older, they stay the same age.
We need some pictures of her pooper!
Tomorrow I will turn 32. So she is half my age plus two years. And beyond that bit of math hurting my brain, I have to go and delouse myself or something.
Wow…
Looks like that impulse purchase of a crash mat disguise might not be so stupid after all. Okay, wearing it on a stag do to the races wasn’t very clever – getting through the turnstile was no picnic – but now…
Nicely done, Dikembe.
Picture #3: is that her “O” face? And Hail, isn’t the rule half your age + 7? Can I get a ruling on this?
is the main pic photoshopped? It seems much better than all the others. damn I love athletic chics.
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