For those of us who have been paying attention to the goings-on in Carl Pavano's life — not merely his hilariously messed up arm that will inevitably require Tommy John surgery, but the rise and fall of his engagement to NYC hottie Gia Allemand — the arrival of Gia's photo shoot for Maxim has been long-awaited indeed. And it certainly doesn't disappoint. Like I said, that strained forearm of Pavano's won't be healing any time soon.
And neither will mine. Neither. Will. Mine.
(Lots more pics at the aforelinked gallery, but you shouldn't go there unless you want to get Tommy John Surgery. I'm serious. I was there for half an hour and I've got Tommy John surgery all over my pants.)
![[avatar]](http://p.uproxxcdn.com/photo/226/thumb)
![[image]](http://cdn.wl.uproxx.com/wp-content/thumbnails/130/110/2013/05/Andrew-McCutchen-and-Anthony-Bourdain-180x180.jpg)
![[image]](http://cdn.wl.uproxx.com/wp-content/thumbnails/130/110/2013/05/Hypnotoad-180x180.gif)
![[image]](http://cdn.wl.uproxx.com/wp-content/thumbnails/130/110/2013/05/Naked-Old-Bro-180x180.jpg)
![[image]](http://cdn.wl.uproxx.com/wp-content/thumbnails/130/110/2013/05/Johnny-Manziel-with-Davey-Johnson-180x180.jpg)
Wow. “I hadn’t seen a body put together like that since I solved the case of the Murdered Girl with the Big Tits.”
Hey thats a pretty girl down there, I wonder if she goes out with one of the YANKees
What diseased mind came up with the contorted pose on the top right? Because I owe him a thank you note.
Is Gia short for “Gee, another excuse to rub one out?” That’s rhetorical, because, yes.
Clown Mode +1
Thumbnail number four is awfully nipply for Maxim.
How come she doesn’t have any nipples?
I’ll go through Tommy John Surgery too if i get to freak that ass for a while.
She is fannnnnn-tastic. I might actually buy a copy of Maxim for the first time since college.
Those aren;t aerolas?
What I love about her is that she’s thrifty. Like, she got a boob job but she kept her bikini top. (see thumb #6)
What I meant was, she kept her OLD bikini top.
Sorrry, I was typing with one hand.
What? I was on the phone!
After 28 years on this planet I have come to the realization that I am an ass man and that second pic at top is asstastic!
Matt- after that Eva horrendousness pic- you have redeemed yourself with a somewhat sports-related nakedness- kudos.
Blackcapricorn, I’m with you. For about 25 years, I always thought I loved the boobs. I do……but there really is nothing like a nice round buttock or two.
That’s a lot more nipple than Maxim usually gives us. I guess the airbrush “artist” had a long spring break.
HHY not to threadjack this but I was totally a breast man as well (went from 36c to 36dd in successive girlfriends) but clearly its all about the junk in the trunk nowadays. All I can sayis god bless the thongs with women’s slacks and white pants!
Whoa! Check out the “pluge” in that fifth thumbnail!
Carl Pavano is not a smart man.
“I’ve got Tommy John Surgery all over my pants” is the funniest thing I’ve read in quite a while.
Kudos, sir.
I’ve read this blog since its inception and I have not laughed harder than I did on this post.
I still can’t get over how much her face looks like someone I use to do in college. Body, not so much. Damn you freshman 45.
That is an onion ass, because it brings tears to my eyes…..
Lloyd, you are a genius sir. I’m adding your onion ass line to my repertoire
skinfan, use it wisely, my young grasshopper….
Anyone else notice that buldge in the first picture?