Infuriated with Jerry Buss Jim Buss the mole inside the organization someone in the Lakers front office, Kobe Bryant has demanded a trade from the team. Or maybe not. I think he may have changed his mind. A lot's been going on the last two days, you see, and I don't really give a fuck.
Right now the Lakers are looking to unload Kobe to the Bulls. Or Suns. Or Bobcats. Or maybe it's Lamar Odom and a draft pick they're trying to trade. The important thing to know is that definitely maybe something might possibly happen during the offseason. And if you're anything like me, then you realize how important and revelatory this story is.
Something we've also learned recently is that Kobe did not — absolutely not – have a hand in the Lakers trading Shaquille O'Neal to Miami. Or he did. But he said that didn't? Something like that.
Hmm… what else? Oh yeah, he also raped a chick in Colorado. Wait, no. He didn't do that. Or at least the charges were dropped. Fucking whatever. The only thing certain in Kobe's world is that his wife, Vanessa, is an ugly tramp. Aw dammit! I keep getting confused!
![[avatar]](http://p.uproxxcdn.com/photo/226/thumb)
![[image]](http://cdn.wl.uproxx.com/wp-content/thumbnails/130/110/2013/05/LeBron-HS-Stats-180x180.gif)
![[image]](http://cdn.wl.uproxx.com/wp-content/thumbnails/130/110/2013/05/Kate-Upton-Jersey-Model-180x180.jpg)
![[image]](http://cdn.wl.uproxx.com/wp-content/thumbnails/130/110/2013/05/Sad-James-Dolan-is-Sad-180x180.jpg)
![[image]](http://cdn.wl.uproxx.com/wp-content/thumbnails/130/110/2013/05/wilt-chamberlain-cat-180x180.png)
Kobe Bryant's idol is Nick Saban. Or not.
she's wearing her "one free rape" ring. yowsa!
Kobe is so upset he could explode…
…on some skank's face, that is.
That's his thing, you know.
Skeeeet skeeeeeeeet goes #24 all over young girls faces. Or not. Or was that #8?
Sixers rule!
you rape one emotionally unstable 19 yr old in a hotel room in Colorado and you never hear the fucking end of it
*allegedly* rape……
if the bitch is too high/drunk/stupid to spell the word rape then it offically is consentual…..or that is what they guy from the bar last night said to me this morning when he left…..
NBA = With Leather's Lazarus
Lt. Winslow- that's why I go to Thailand
Kobe's just mad that Jerry Buss can get younger tail than he can now…
yes. no.
Kobe's wearing his best "I raped a bitch and got away with it" smile in that picture.
So I take it this woman from Colorado didn't appreciate it when a "Black M___f___ker cums on your face!" Well then, that makes two of us.
Dear Dr. Buss,
I hereby formally waive my no-trade clause so that you may deal me to one of the following teams:
LA Sparks
Chicago Sky
New York Liberty
Your pal,
Kobe #8/#24
p.s. - Don't tell Vanessa. Thanks.
didn't appreciate it when a "Black M___f___ker cums on your face!"
It's legal to swear on the internet.
Imagine Kobe and Durant on the Sonics tearing it up!
In Oklahoma City!!!!
good lord…
If that guy behind kobes wife was wearing an t shirt under his blazer i would swear its ufford.
Kobe wants to get traded to New Jersey, so he can live with all his other fellow rapists.
poor Kobe.
if he had only gone to college for a year he would've learned that you don't ask for permission to do that. you just do it, and if it doesnt go over well, you say (in your sincerest and most convincing "I don't want to go anywhere, this is my team" voice) that you were just trying to avoid getting her knocked up.
Kobe is the man. He is the only guy in the world that can make a white chick's ass bleed while "not being in the same room with her". What a man. What a champion.
Who is the GM of the Lakers nowadays? Alberto Gonzales?
This guy flip-flops more than a fresh-caught striped bass on a hot wooden pier.
Yea, I got nothin…
ESPN Radio already asked what it would take to get him over to the Knicks (answer: an alternate universe). But just imagine Mr. Bryant and Mr. Thomas together in the same city – its like having the Joker and the Riddler of sexual harrassment come to your town. God help the Knicks' dancers. (Well, God or Batman.)
I'd love to hear Shaq call a radio station and give his thoughts (an imitation of a nelson muntz ha-ha).
Hey, did anyone else here know that Kobe's dad played pro ball, Kobe's fluent in Italian, and he calls himself "black mamba"? I think I read that somewhere.
The point? He's a WELL ROUNDED rapist.
If we ignore Kobe, do you think he will go away?
that looks like Eva Longoria with him in the pic. If that's his wife, then she's a dead ringer for Eva and i thought for sure she looked better than that.
Also, I am PRAYING that the Suns or Dallas pull off some kind of deal for Kobe. I would love to see Kobe playing alongside Nash or Dirk
"It's legal to swear on the internet." Really? Fuck! And I went to all that trouble to type in those fucking underscores.
It will be very interesting to see how this turns out. I'm gonna go out on a limb and say that Kobe will not be satisfied. EVER. I hope they trade his Ass to Memphis. He'll love it there. Or maybe Denver since he has a friend or two in that area. GOOD LUCK KOBE!!!! You just threw YOURSELF under the bus…… the short bus.
actually i heard from someone in the bar in colorado who read the court documents that the sex was definitely consentual… but then the anal sex afterwards was definitely not consentual. then him telling her to kiss his penis when all was said and done probably didn't help the situation any.
Kobe with the ATM?
They should sentence Kobe multiple years of playing in China, as a part of an agreement to allow Yao Ming to say without paying restitution to the Chinese government.
I think that's a fair trade. We get an internationally marketable image, and China can teach Kobe the value of the greater good. So that maybe he won't be like all these little futbolers who constantly bitch about playing along side with so-and-so.
With that said, I wish I could be famous, so that I can get a lawyer who can get me out of virtually anything. The only exception to that would be his daughter, and no I'm not talking about Allison Stokke.
I have nothing to add, so I'll go off topic and mention that the White Sox lost 2-0 to the Jays in a game that lasted under 2 hours. New and fantastic ways to lose games: White Sox Fever! Catch It! (And die).
Kobe is so good at basketball.
…way too good
Why aren't theremore posts about that ridiculous shit on the back of Drew Gooden's head? Just sayin'.
@hardawayhatesyou: "We are Chicago Baseball" sucks right now. Time for a firesale. And grindErstad, probably the greatest baseballplayer in the world (//Hawk), hurt his ankle real bad, too.
Also, is that Dreamboat in the background? If so, Kobe's wife definitely got "payback" (if you know what I mean, wink wink nudge nudge).
@Erstad
If by "payback" you mean "most likely inseminated by Dreamboat simply by being in the same room as him", then most definitely. Payback like a grandmother.
I think we’re missing the big point here. That girl had four other guys’ cum swishing around in her panties. So that means there are 4 guys out there that can say Kobe had their sloppy seconds.
I'll take the car, no…the money…no the car…
OJ didn’t, so neither did I