I was practicing drinking mint juleps last night, so I thought this was part of my nightmare.  But Deadspin reminded me it wasn't: 

You may remember I'm a White Sox fan sexy readers, but even I think this is a little funny.  You know what else, the White Sox haven't won in a week.  Woo, that's hilarious!  And the Southsiders have the lowest team batting average in the the Major Leagues.  Stop, you're killing me!  Seriously, stop. To make matters worse, I made an ill-advised deal with my girlfriend that I would only watch the Sox three times a week if they fell below .500.  I hired a Mathemagician to trick her that 12-14 is really above .500, but he failed.  In fact, I think that guy was just a hobo who had written a bunch of sixes on his jacket.  Anyway, I dumped her to watch poorly played baseball, so there's a new Pale Hose fan on the market ladies.  Emphasis on "Pale". -KD