Let's all pause a moment to remember yesterday's goodness about Alex Rodriguez's dalliance with a busty blonde in Toronto.  Good times.  And now, ladies and gentlemen, the greatest article ever written in the history of the world:

His wife, Cynthia, brusquely left their East Side pad last night with two suitcases, refusing to speak with reporters…

The Toronto woman also was spotted on A-Rod's arm two weeks ago at a glitzy Las Vegas nightclub, according to gossip Web site TMZ.com. Rodriguez stopped by the Tryst nightclub at the Wynn Las Vegas Resort with the blond after midnight on May 14, an off day while the Yankees were traveling from Seattle to Chicago. They tried to go to the topless pool bar Bare, but were turned away because there was a private party there, a source said…

In New York, A-Rod used to be a regular at the VIP Club, where he always asked for a dancer who performs under the stage name Monique.  Monique is 5-feet-5 with brown hair and brown eyes and has a well-toned, muscular figure, a pal said.  When the stripper jumped over to the Hustler Club, Rodriguez started going there to see her perform and buy sexy lap dances, a source said.

Sexy lap dances?  What kind have I been getting all these years?

A petite stripper at the Hustler Club said A-Rod "likes the she-male, muscular type. They brought me up to the champagne room one time. I spun around once and that was it. I'm not his type."

Well, c'mon.  Who doesn't like the she-male, muscular type?  Everyone?  Oh.

In all fairness to A-Rod, I've probably never admired him as much as I do now, which is saying a lot, because he had some great seasons with the Mariners.  Dude loves strippers, and he loves taking women to strip clubs, and he loves taking strippers home, and he loves taking women home after going to strip clubs.  He's my new hero.  Hit the road, Abraham Lincoln.  You're dead to me.  More than usual, I mean.