AH MAN, WHO PUKED IN THE TUB?
05.21.07
Media Take Out — they don't like the spaces, but I do — got a bunch of photos of Michael Jordan's teenage sons Marcus and Jeffrey on vacation, and you will be absolutely shocked to learn that teenagers whose parents are wealthier than God do things like drink alcohol and dance with hot chicks.
MediaTakeOut.com has exclusively obtained shocking new pics of Michael Jordan's sons going wild. The photos, which were reportedly taken on a recent vacation, show the two high school boys engaged in some very inappropriate behavior. In the first batch of images, Michael's 18 year old son Jeffrey (currently a high school senior) is photo'd dancing suggestively with a number of women. But those images are tame compared to those of Michael's 16 year old son Marcus. MediaTakeOut.com obtained images that show the high school sophomore with alcoholic beverages and smoking what appears to be marijuana. And there's more. In a photo, Marcus is shown unconscious in a pool of his own vomit – an obvious result of overindulging.
Thanks for explaining all that, Obvious Take Out. I figured Marcus just had some bad fish. But seriously, great job. My mind is blown. High school boys drink alcohol, smoke weed, and dance with girls. Will our nation ever recover from this demoralizing tragedy? Will hope in America ever be restored? Only if I take my shirt off.
Also see: Deuce of Davenport
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My favorite part of that photo is the Jumpman logo. Too bad the barf towel wasn’t branded as well. And what the hell did he eat? Pop Rocks?
Next you’re going to tell me that their father had extramarital affairs.
I for one have never heard of teenagers throwing up after too much drinking. But mostly because I can’t remember any of the nights where I did it.
Say what you will, but nobody can hit the drain from the edge of the tub quite like a Jordan.
I feel a little dirty. My first thought upon looking at the pictures, “Huh. Jeffery’s pretty cute.”
They learned from the best.
I think Smello’s onto something. Jeffrey looks just legal…er…hot enough to be a nice replacement for his aging pops. My love for MJ will never die but I think Jeffrey just might have the youthful vigor needed to help me out with my plan to birth an entire basketball squad. Good breeding. These kids’ll be signing contracts in the womb.
I can only imagine what kind of ass those two can pull just with that last name…I’m going to daydream the rest of the day.
I love to crown ass. Speachless. Brilliant.
Why report this crap? The kids are 18 and 16…At least give them a chance to get to college before you start posting this crap. Today you’ve drooled over underage girls and posted pictures of a 16 year old throwing up. I hope you sleep easy at night.
I’m all for this blog, just put some boundaries in.
C’mon, Markos…Jeffrey might be a little femme, but to call him an underage girl is below the belt.
Haha.
I’m not trying to defend Jeff, I just feel bad for these kids.
Last time I checked, 18 is legal.
“I hope you sleep easy at night.”
Hey Markos, why don’t you fuck off for a little while? If you read the post, you’d recognize that I didn’t condemn anything the boys did.
I’m all for your comments, just put some boundaries on your idiocy.
Aside from that line, I’m sticking to the post. You know posting this stuff and spreading it is just gonna make their lives harder. There’s enough crap by athletes out there that you can still have a great site without posting pictures of underage girls and 16 year olds getting drunk. How about posting about the Bengals releasing Nicholson or something?
Matt, as a newcomer to this site I apologize if this is a stupid question, but what is the brand of scotch in your avatar? As a social climber of limited means, I favor J. Walker Black Label, but I’d be curious to know what’s the official With Leather scotch of choice.
Drunkenly Submitted,
Hugh
Salieri runs his house about as good as he ran the Wizards.
Sarah – I respect your breeding strategy. Being rather height challenged, I’ve often stated that I need to breed up. And, while MJ’s spawn really are too young, MJ himself is a LONG way from being too old.
Markos: I think the Jordan boys will struggle through the slings and arrows of this blog post and eventually grow from sons of a multigazillionaire to become actual multigazillionaires without ever having to work if they don’t want to. My heart is torn into tiny little pieces and bleeding all over my keyboard for their dramatic plight. Oh, woe is the Jordan boys! When will they catch a break in this cruel world?
Hugh: No strict preferences on my part; I have a taste for bourbon and single-malt scotch, but I’m not too picky.
Grandfather gets murdered, Dad has a gambling addiction, parents go through a divorce that the media is all over…I don’t care how much money they have, their life isn’t easy. But I’m just gonna shut up and go watch some Oprah because clearly I’m just a pussy.
Cool, maybe this place will get funny again.
His puke is red – punch, or stomach lining?
No sympathy for the devil, Markos, or his spawn! (Best baller ever or no, I’ll never forgive Jordan for dismantling my 1993-94 Miami Heat in the first round).
If you look closely you can see the reflection of Isaiah Thomas in the mirror taking the pictures.
I’m a little late to the rescue here, but “I hope you sleep easy at night”? Someone needs to have a big fat bowl of “lighten up, Frances.”
It’s not like we’re calling for photos of a nationally syndicated sports writer’s daughter or anything. Now THAT would be inappropriate.
“I hope you sleep easy at night”. I’m going to use that 5 times in conversation tomorrow. You see if i don’t.
You know what helps me sleep easy at night? The 18 yr old.
You know what helps me sleep at night? Knowing that I’m not some douchebag that tries to make blogs PC. Fuck you guys, go move to Utah.
Hey, it’s Enrico Pallazzo!
Sorry I missed the appearance of Donny Downer. Sheesh, Mutumbo had it right.
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