I've been saying for years that Roger Federer looks exactly like the villain in a James Bond movie: the close-set dark eyes, the unconvincing smile, the faint hint of a German accent.  He's handsome, but not handsome enough to keep his girl from double-crossing him and sleeping with a British spy… so Federer kills her.

Most people look at me like I'm crazy when I say this, but now, as The Big Lead noted, Men's Vogue has the story and the photo slide show that prove me right.  He lives in Dubai.  He goes from yacht to helicopter in designer clothes.  He's looking for someone who's a worthy adversary.

He loves the idea of a sanitized version of the world being made here, though, and enjoys the megalomaniacal vision of the Maktoums [Dubai's ruling family]. Two years ago on the helipad at the top of the seven-star Burj Al Arab hotel, he played Andre Agassi. It was billed as the highest game of tennis ever, and the pair of them looked out from this 700-foot perch across the globe.

Federer won, then pushed Agassi off the helipad to his death.  True story.  I've heard he also loads live grenades into the tennis ball machine, then fires them at his enemies.