I feel obligated to mention that that the Canucks beat the Stars 5-4 in Game 1 of the their playoff series.  Apparently the game was tied after they had played the three periods of regulation, so they played almost four full twenty-minute overtimes before somebody decided to score because he was sick of fucking skating around and getting hit. I guess this makes playoff hockey a lot cooler and more exciting because it doesn't revert to a shootout, but I can't watch two hours of hockey on TV.  I'm not sticking around for five-plus hours, or however long it took. 

The crazy thing is that this isn't even the longest hockey game ever (it just felt that way if you watched it). It was the sixth-longest, which is mind-bottling to me.  And Roberto Luongo got 72 freaking saves in the win, which ALSO isn't a record.

Wait, his name's Roberto?  A Hispanic person plays professional hockey?  That's got to be some kind of record, right?