Who works on Mayor Mark Mallory's staff? Is it a team of chimpanzees that uses a focus group of special ed students? Step 1: Embarrass yourself with the worst ceremonial first pitch in history. Step 2: Attempt to rehabilitate image with appearance on national talk show…
…by throwing the second-worst ceremonial pitch in history. How is someone so uncoordinated able to sign his name on bills and laws? Does he use a big red crayon and just mark an "X"? This guy would have to chop down a redwood with his bare hand in order to get me to vote for him. Then I wouldn't vote for him, because redwoods are some of our most beautiful natural resources. Don't you agree that these majestic trees have a calming effect?
Can you tell that I'm sensitive and I love nature? You wanna make out? I've been practicing with my stuffed animals.
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I think the author is still stuck in wwtdd mode, hilarious.. keep it up.
Reason #4,800 why I hate Cincinnati
Didn’t he play Eddie Murphy’s brother in Bowfinger? For his next PR stunt his staff should get him to hit a cow’s ass with a banjo. A really big cow.
How time-consuming is it to be mayor of Cincinnati, really?
I’m asking as a Cub fan, since we’ve lost Prior and Wood again, maybe this guy could squeeze in a couple starts? Just to get us through the spring?
Nice dig out by Russell. Let’s hope Disney considers him for “The Rookie II – The Return of Razor Shines.” Wait, Russell isn’t black. Oh well, minor detail…
Mayors don’t sign bills and laws. Sorry, didn’t mean to be that guy in my first comment here. I’m banned now aren’t I.
Good thing they don’t judging by the way this guy pitches he’d probably end up with a pen in his eye if he tried to sign anything. I think he might be the inspiration for that old “Mr. No Depth Perception” sketch Kevin Nealon used to do on SNL.