
With Pacman Jones suspended for the season, NFL joke-writers such as myself had already taken a serious hit. But this might be too much… Ladies and gentlemen, Drew Bledsoe has retired. A 14-year veteran of the Patriots, Bills, and Cowboys, Bledsoe will be remembered for his cannon arm, complete immobility in the pocket, and crippling late-game interceptions. He will be missed more than words can say.
It's a strange development. As recently as a month ago, "Bledsoe" blogged about his excitement to join the free agent market:
It’s only been 12 hours since I marched into Jerry [Jones]’s office and demand he cut me, but it feels like a lifetime. I’ve even stopped cutting my hair and shaving (which I normally do twice a day.) The freedom I am feeling right now… it’s… indescribable. It’s like eating a Burger for the first time after taking a day off Burgers.
So how did it happen? Well, you’ll hear many things on SportsCenter tonight. Stuff like “This was a salary cap decision.” That’s not true. What do I care if the Cowboys are over the salary cap? That’s not my problem. That had nothing to do with why I demanded to get cut.
Fare thee well, Drew. I will remember your interceptions, your expert wearing of visors, and TonyHomo.com with the utmost fondness. And don't be so sure about this retirement. I hear the Raiders are looking for someone who can get the ball seventy yards downfield.


Yes, Drew “demanded” to be cut. Sort of like how I “demanded” that the hot counter girl at Kinko’s file a restraining order against me, or the time when I “demanded” the cops arrest me for drunk & disorderly conduct at that church raffle.
ya, and the alcohol demanded me to bang that fat chick on saturday….wait…
If my Raiders want an old guy who can’t move, they’ll just re-sign Jeff George.
Shaving twice a day isn’t manly in Bledsoe’s case. He meant he shaves his legs twice a day. Pansy.
I thought he meant he cut his hair twice a day. I’m sure “cutting” just means “ripping out what’s left because le career is in le toilet and has been for some time”.
What he prefers the Jake Plummer look of a bass player in a 70′s soft rockband?
Keep that extra hair off, you need all to remove all air resistance when you run like Neil Lomax does right now.
Drew Bledsoe was a stud, too bad Parcells is a moron and let Romo tank the Cowboys season. Well hopefully we’ll be seeing Bledsoe in Canton soon!